And with a thud, you were gone
Your notes no longer dancing around my heart
Enticing me with the sweet smell of the underworld
Flourishing flowers, creating wealth
And with a thud, you were gone
Your shadow fading with the sun
Erasing the softness of the velvet sky
And with a thud, there was a deafening silence
Author notes
word prompt = shattered
- The Secret Law of Attraction group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Word Prompt by Captain Jenny.
600 points, ended December 20, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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like the end of your world but quieter. I enjoyed your write.
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Lots of pictures painted by this poem.
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Awesome write, truly a magnificent piece.
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Your words show the finality of loss. It's very much a thud when it happens. No time to think. no time to ease out slowly, just a big thud thats it. Small suggestion. was not were in last line.
All the best in this contest. 
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stunning
cuts straight to the heart Braco
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Wonferful. Strangely beautiful... I'd appriciate it if you were to put your word in the Author Notes too please. I would hate to DQ this over that...
~Lae, Feu Tempete -
This hurts, by the wording in this, it went on for long, oh, how I hate that word, 'thud'. Erasing the softness of the velvet sky was a very sincere and soft and fragile, wow, how solemn,
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sweet smell of the underworld - oh I likes that.
With a thud, eh? Interesting. it works.
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