Go to the fiery depths
Of the devil's doorsteps
To take your final turn
Roll the dice and flips the card
And watch and wait and learn
Now hold your tongue
And watch your words
Contain the litle slips
One hint from a helpless thing
And the devil bets all his chips
Author notes
One of my friends now refuses to say "Go to Hell" and he now says "Go to the fiery depths of the devils doorsteps" My first thought when he said that was "hmmm, poetic" so I made it into a poem
got comments??
Comments
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I liked this one. It is hard to find anything that really draws me and doesn't make me want to roll my eyes, lol.
The only thing I thought might make it a little smoother, and mind you, I like this a lot, is the line
"And watch and wait and learn"
and then the beginning of this line
"And watch your words"...
I thought it might roll off the tonge a little better as
"Watch, wait and learn"
and then
"now hold your tongue,
watch your words"
Now I could be completely wrong because every poet has a specific way she is hearing the words in their head, the rythym of the poem, etc. and I can also see how the "ands" can change the whole way the poem sounds when spoken by the actual writer. It does match the line "to take your final turn" in metre. Either way I do like it -
very good
http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15392
I'm Nobody! Who are you?
Are you – Nobody – too?
Then there's a pair of us?
Don't tell! they'd advertise – you know!
How dreary – to be – Somebody!
How public – like a Frog –
To tell one's name – the livelong June –
To an admiring Bog!
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