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This is what I must say (a play on one of W.C. Williams')


Forgive me
Father William,
for I have sinned.

I ate those plums
which you had ordained
be eaten for breakfast
after Matins.

They were so sweet
like sin
delicious!

Author notes

http://www.everypoet.org/pffa/showthread.php?t=5472

Incase you missed the reference to William Carlos Williams, whether it be the tribute to calling him Father, or in the added parenthesis after the title.

Thanks to vaguely familiar for being the first one to recognise where it came from.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • storiesuntold gold member
    October 3
    Edit | Reply

    Interesting write

    I must read more


  • just mercedes gold member
    May 5

    Edit | Reply
    I love playing with other's poems, and have written a few from WCW's works - good to see someone else do the same!

    Though I think WCW had a slightly different view of what constituted sin.


  • vaguelyfamiliar
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    It might be a good idea to give more obvious credit to the author whose poem you've mutilated.

    This Is Just To Say -- William Carlos Williams


    • cafegroundzero gold member
      January 16
      Edit | Reply

      Maybe, since apparently for some it's not even

      ... vaguely familiar.

      Thanks for recognising him though. My last reader didn't seem to make the connection.

      Did you even try the link? There was the point in the link in the remarks, since there was an entire thread of adaptations to the poem. Remixing as it were, whether you agree it's art or not. So much of art and literature is derivative anyway.

      What do you think of Derrida?

      • vaguelyfamiliar
        January 17
        Edit | Reply
        My comment was a bit snarky. I did try the link, and while it shows derivations of the poem, no where does it mention the original source. There is a link inside of your link that is inactive, but that I imagine was a link to the original. Still.

        Some of them were very funny. Quite. Art? I'm not sure yet.


  • Lucian Valcor
    December 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    im lost Jp ... did I miss some thing ?


    • cafegroundzero gold member
      January 16
      Edit | Reply

      Lucian, did n't you recognise the William Carlos Williams poem


      "This is just to say."

      I heard you got married; congratulations and Happy New Year!

      • Lucian Valcor
        January 16
        Edit | Reply
        thanks congrats and happy new year to you also, got married oct 31.st on samhain ... and am going to be a father soon my wife is 19 weeks pregnant today and we found out last week it is going to be a baby girl


        how have you been man ?

1 - 8 of 8