She quivers in the corner
Extracting all her fears
The solace and remembrance
Of last nights deathful tears
She quivers in the corner
Craving a vengeful hand
The magnitude awaits her
Of her masters vicious brand
She quivers in the corner
Knowing what’s to come
The silent and the graceful
Call her with their drum
A contest entry
- Combined Picture / Title prompt by Titus.
3500 points, ended December 11, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Smooth.
That's what I'd call this. It seems to move so effortlessly throughout.
And the images evoked, while all seeming hard edged, are softened by the cadence.
One thing to correct, though. The plural verb form of 'await' doesn't match the singular noun form of 'the magnitude.'
Great write. Good luck in the contest. This ought to do well.
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Great stuff here.
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I like this piece, the rhyme flows so nicely.
If I were to make one comment, I think the last line could be stronger. A powerful piece regardless.
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This is a GOLD!!! Wowie you have a great talent and this poem was done with so much flair! Simply lovely!
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This is so servant like, I may take some of the good points and use some ideas of my own, as you have done to execute some lovely features, that mine will be encouraged, for "sands of time". There is a masterful approach and dialect with that good old fashioned feel of romantism. Lovely picture you have given, without the one you've used. well done.
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