A cold wind blows
through all my dreams
when they fade to grey.
Then they fall away
like dying leaves
before the winter snow.
In these decaying fields,
brilliant flowers once grew,
illuminated under sunny skies.
Now, as everything dies,
betraying what I once knew,
from these ruins, I rebuild.
Author notes
ABCCBA
A contest entry
- Prewrites Only -- With a Twist! by Heroesrox.
470 points, ended December 4, 88 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I liked the imagery here. Its like you painted a picture with the words chosen.
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The beginning had me wondering as to the quality of this poem but as i read it through a couple of times i realized the absolute brilliance hidden rather snugly in here... the last line particularly making the poem. F antastic!
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I like, you've got some good writing skill. =)
If you get chance, please comment on some of my work!
X -
bleak vision
enjoyed this dark poem, surprised by the positive resolution in last line - glimpse of hope. ahhhh!
fav lines: "Now, as everything dies,
betraying what I once knew,
from these ruins, I rebuild."
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Wow, this was very good. My favorite line was:
"They shall fall away
like dying leaves"
Great piece, and keep up the good work!
~ASingleBloodyRose
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a good poem that dances across forever's face with sadness in the ehart, but a ray of hope on the horizon, that can lift the spirit to rebirth into happiness, where the foundations are once again strong.
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Good work!
I loved what I read here. You showed marvelous imagery throughout this work! I am amazed you wrote this. THANKS AGAIN!
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great write!
Love the imagery it is outstanding. love how you tied in some hope in the end. -
wow, I really love this poem and the imagery it portraits. My favorite stanza is the second one, which signals altogether joy, sadness but also renewing. Nice Write.
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wow!
this is such a strong write... i love the flow and the way your words just fell into place here. imagery was great, and this was very exprssive. it was heart-breaking in the start of this poem... but the ending was brilliant, with hope. keep penning
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great images ...
" ... In these decaying fields,
brilliant flowers once grew,
illuminated under sunny skies.
Now, as everything dies,
betraying what I once knew,
from these ruins, I rebuild. ... "
thanks.
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brilliantly worded. Very descriptive... a sorrowful picture was painted here, but there was light at the end of hope. great job. -T
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