hey
I am not familiar with the stimulus
which makes me coerced
for taking a notice of you
sometimes a river
look like my motivator and the sky up sometimes
look like the incentive, likewise
you are to me
I know the sensational prelude
between us will never be taken place
yet, whatever is took place
is not less than the allurement
isn't?
hey...
Author notes
You can't define love in a definite term, we yet have to define it in terms of its universal status. There are many persons in our life who are very close to the heart yet not the part of a heart.
A contest entry
- Give me feeling by Cant force beloved.
700 points, ended December 10, 2008, 57 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
hGod...
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
awww... this is heart string tugging..... lol if that made sence.. I really enjoyed this write. You are a wonderful poet.. Keep it up!!!! thank you for this write!
-
Your work is different, but I do like it. I like how you put "hey" this time instead of "oh god" which seems to be a constant for all of your other works. Thanks for the share.
-
Excellent
You achieve the undefinable in these lines:
sometimes a river
look like my motivator and the sky up sometimes
look like the incentive, likewise
you are to me...
Great work, as usual. The vocabulary is intriguing and conveys the spiritual aspect very well. Congrats
-
beautiful
I also liked the way you started this poem. Its very different and inspiring. Good play on words.
-
Certainly gave me a feeling!
You make love seem to be a wonderful and constantly moving dance...the steps changing yet the 'stimulus' and 'incentive' always present,like the rainbow colors on a bubble of soap!...I love this one-to use a verb so limited and yet unlimited.. . Best wishes for the contest, my friend...Peace, Rhonda
-
Tsk... I am amazed again, am I not? And 'hey' a new start of a poem for you. I liked the second stanza and yes as a person who considered entering this contest but wasn't inspired enough I never expected such type of writes in it.
The universal thought of love is just heart aching. Wonderful entery and best of luck in love, life and contest.
Much love
~Noor
-
-
Thank you so much for your kind words..
-
-
This is pretty good. Not what I expected to find in the contest but am very happy to see it. Thank you for entering this poem.
-
-
Thank you so much for your kind words..
-
-
So welcome Prabhu.
-
-
-
I like this very much; it gives description to emotions and feelings for which there is no one perfect word. We certainly don't have enough words to define all the variations and intensities of love. I am always impressed by your word choices and arrangements. Occasionally I would like to suggest a grammatical change, to make a verb agree with a noun, but I am not sure if this is the kind of feedback you would like. Please know that I think you are one of the most talented people I've met here!
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
