Good mourning, men!
It's another wonderful
day for war!
Can't you feel it?
Ah, yes...Splendid!
Never mind the men on the feild, you see -
we'll learn their names later,
because our number one goal today is
aim and kill!
Any one you'd like, boys! Take your pick!
Yes, I DO I love the smell of decay, ladies -
Wakes me up; makes me feel invigorated.
As if we were winning!...
But we ARE winning!
Arn't we still alive?! Thats victory to me, boys!
And besides, we've got to defend
that beautiful country of ours!
Protect the lives of the ones we left behind!
Like that pretty little lady friend of yours,right son? Eh? Eh?!
What was her name again?
Yeah...I don't remember it either.
It's been awhile...
Author notes
I'd like to call someone out on this one....Rheea.
This was her message to me about this poem:
"what an ignorant person you are to write such a poem about sacrifice and suffering of veterans who gave so very much. I am from NC my beautiful home.. you must be a transplant.. southern youth know better."
Well, Rheea, I was born in VA and raised in NC. I'm probablly one of the few in my entire generation that actually knew what the mason dixon line was BEFORE we learned about it in history class.
Just so you know, My boyfriend, is in the Air Force. My grandfather and my uncle are both WWII veterans, as well as another uncle who fought in Vietnam when he was 18. I've grew up on a civil war battle field. Bentonville Battleground...you know that one? And have been raised to admire and respect it. I even knew the connection between The Harper House and Harpers Ferry, VA by the time I was 6.
If your going to insult my poem, I advise you analyze it a bit deeper. I was insulting the act of war at all by having the speaker encourage his men...making it seem like it was something to look forward to. Something to have fun with rather than just dispair. I was no where near close to insulting the people fighting it, seeing as to how it was written from THEIR point of view. It was written to show how disconnected they can become from "the world" once they're there. Can't you tell by the last two lines of it that I was being sarcastic?
I'm not the ignorant one, here.
So don't you DARE call me a transplant yankee.
A contest entry
- North Korea by unknownpleasure.
400 points, ended December 16, 2008, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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You should get a trophy just for annoying the righteously idignant, and equally ignorant Ms. (Dia) Rheea alone.
Even without that very appreciated added bonus, I liked this piece, even if your spelling and grammar needs some work.
I don't actually see what it really has to do with North Korea per se, ok - it could stretch to the Korean War, but that's still tenuous. However, I'm feeling less anal than normal today, so I think you can have a little trophy for your efforts... -
Oh my goodness
get a life lady! You're still obsessing over this? -
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Your a 17 year old child who " called" me out using your own words.
you think I would obsess about you? Thats your mothers job. Just tried to get you to think sweetie thats all take it or leave it. now your on my ignore so go talk to someone else I am no longer talking to you when you do not even try to get what your doing. -
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Okay...if youre not obsessing, why in the world do you continue this? This is my poem. It's my right to write what I want. If you dont like it, fine, but it doesnt make me wrong.
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You need to reevaluate or show it to your boyfriend because you missed the boat all the way with this poem then sweetie. as I told you before say what you will until YOU actually lose something you and your writing will just not get it where this subject is concerned . The poem sounds bad as if you are making light of our men and war. have people who do not know you wrote it read it and give you honest feed back. If it matters enough to you. let me know next time you "call me out" =)
I will be sure and respond sooner.
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