She was wonderful, i have a long way to go.

It's not that you are a bad person,
I still love you but it will take time.

i sat back in the couch she helped bring in
last spring and in the apartment
she helped pick out and liked,
with the larger window
that looks out onto the pines,
and has a walk in closet.

What are you thinking about?
Are you going to be ok?

i wondered how to answer.
Conditions will improve with time,
everyone will assure me of that.
i answer as i was suppose to,
because nothing was going to change
that no one would be there
to hear the days story about
riding around with friends,
no one would be there for dinner,
to eat lemon chicken and broccoli with,
to watch a movie with.
There won't be a guaranteed kiss or hug,
and the couch will be lonely.

I'm, I am really sorry about this.
Let me know if there is something I can do.

No, i have to be the one to do
what i, I need to do. This isn't
our life anymore. The pizza toppings
will be mine, the jeans picked out
will be mine, the television size
will again be mine.
You were wonderful, and I will never say it,
but tonight I will cry about it.

Author notes

This isn't exactly what happened because this isn't exactly me. I don't like writing about my own experiences directly. This is a combination of common statements that some how all came up in real break ups that I have gone through, used, and heard in other people's breakups. I am also not the strong silent type, like whoever this speaker is. But, I do choose my own toppings on pizza. And, I did feel the confidence shift that this speaker feels, which I represented with the lower case and upper case usage of i and I. I know this is all cliche, but I went through all this again recently and this is the first poem about the one nitty gritty moment itself.