The moment is in, the olden times are over
As an indigo rain falls from a crimson sky
The tempest has formed in secret cyclogenesis
No less humble than the sun
But in all these moments hearts have changed
In a substantial subtle way
As the golden rainbow streaks the sky
Heralding a peace once been and forlorn
And after all these times, the makings are incomplete
No more closer than a limit to the infinite
What is individualism after all?
Maybe it will only take time to truly know
In this silent moment of our lives
I will hear the titanium bells
Of lamentation close and afar
Maybe the sun is eclipsed
The air is so cold
But maybe yet it is so refreshing
Hopefulness maybe more than a firmament
It is however just so very warm
Maybe more and maybe less
What I have learned is for the best
I have to continue to live my life
That is all that I must say
Author notes
Theme: Progressive Thought
In a list
A contest entry
- Give me anything! by ASmileForYou.
560 points, ended December 16, 2008, 138 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
no.
you have good ideas here but they weren't put across in a very poetic way. using more poetic device in the future might help you.
thanks for entering. -
no
For some reason, this came across as very forced to me and the flow was kind of choppy. Also, I think the last line was too abrupt, it could have been worded differently.
Please wait for the other judge to comment.
♣ Tegan -
....and CAPPING each L, unless required, is one of the Rules...and you did not place POY COntest in your AN's.....I'm sorry....I cannot hold your hand throughout this process
-
You have to read the whole page....this is the 100th PO' Contest, and we never allow your entry to be in two contests at the same time
Bear ~ -
You have failed to read the rules.....sorry, this has to be pulled until you can read the simple rules.....God bless,
Bear ~
-
-
I edited the poem, the constraints are met now.
-
-
Aloha!
So they changed the rules on me...you can do PW so please re enter your poem!
Mahalo...
and my apologies!
-
Most know...we want FRESH
no PW allowed...or anything in another contest!
Please try again!
-
This was a beautiful and well pieced poem. Very well written and inspiring. Thank you for this lovely entry!
-
Reflective, abstract, inspiring.
Perhaps I'm a sucker for literary devices, but the way you used them was magnificent.
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
