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Christmas Acrostic

Cold snowflakes falling through the dark sky.
Happy children sleeping.
Reindeers hooves leaving prints on the roof.
Icicle covered lights
Santa sliding down the chimney
Talking quietly to himself
Morning's light creeping up on the dark
As the moon fades away.
Sun appears over the snowy hills.

Author notes

cold,happy,reindeers,icicle, lights

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • sexykitty
    February 6
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    nice

    i really like this

  • Judith Chandler
    December 22, 2008

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    "talking quietly to himself" Now let's see are these kids naughty or nice? Nice detail and well written acrostic with nothing contrived about it.

    Thank you for entering my contest.


  • Polaja Greeters member
    December 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this poem although I do agree with Matske about the "as" line, maybe you could have something like "and silent night dissipates as" or a line of your own choosing? I think it would help the flow of the poem but apart from that this is a lovely Christmas poem - I really enjoyed the festive feeling that this poem has, and the reindeer prints were my favorite part

    Merry Christmas!

    Polly


  • Anna Emkah
    December 11, 2008

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    This is a nice Acrostic and I am glad you listened to little-hug, for she made a good remark about not centering the poem. This looks so much better.

    I have a few remarks/advices. What do you think about... "Cold snowflakes falling from the dark sky" ? (line 1)
    Instead of just "As" in line 8, you could also start a sentence with "And" .... That makes it even more a real poem!

    Just some thoughts. See what you like and can do to improve it.

    Anna.


  • hyper thing
    December 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i love this one it is absoulutly amazing


  • little-hug
    December 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is really good I love acrostics and this one flows perfectly. Lovely and festive! My only suggestion would be not to centre it because its harder to see that it is an acrostic that way. Lots of luck in the contest!

1 - 7 of 7