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You Give Me A Reason To Love You

Your arms
Around mine
Feels like a jigsaw puzzle
Finally being
Completed.

Meaningless before
But oh so filled
With reason now
To live this life

{Thanks to you}

Your smile
Give's my knees
A reason to be weak

Your touch
Give's my heart
A reason to beat faster

Your embrace
Give's my lungs
A reason to fluxuate

You give me a reason
{To love you}

Author notes

Lol Just a random poem...

=] Comment it ?

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think. Be critical

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Symphony
    February 19

    Edit | Reply
    "Your arms
    Around mine
    Feels like a jigsaw puzzle
    Finally being
    Completed."

    That was GORGEOUSLY written;

    I love the way you broke up the sentences, to make them their own and then when you string them all together, it just made me want to go "awhhh" ...

    Thanks for entering


  • AboveApathy
    December 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    good poem. some grammar errors:
    you don't need the apostrophe in 'gives'. in fact, it shouldn't be there.
    and every line doesn't need to capitalized unless it is indeed the first word of a sentence.
    i loved the line
    Your smile
    Gives my knees
    A reason to be weak.
    it's soooo good and well-thought.
    wesley


    • just weak hands
      December 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      :]

      Thanks ! Means a lot !
      Ugh I always make like, one grammatical error xD I hate that ! Lol thanks for correcting that :]

      Eh I just like everything being capitalized... Idk why, it like... HAS to be that way ! [OCD ?! jk] Lol Thanks again !


  • ASmileForYou
    December 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very cute poem. The flow is very distinguished. Very nicely written! Thanks for entering!

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    December 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your and you, there are a lot of those in the piece.

    You tell me everything but don't bring enough imagery to the table.

    The sentiment is well done and consistent throughout but I would love to see a bit more punch to the piece


    • just weak hands
      December 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I kind of figured that.

      I honestly wasn't paying much attention to what I was entering ^_^; But that's no excuse

      Thanks for your comment :]


  • Slick99
    December 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow!!! good job! good luck in both of your contests!! -Slick

1 - 7 of 7