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- syphoned tears -

Missing image

~*~

midnight

stars shine atop

roses which glisten on

cue as broken moons invasion

against gay skies play as a child at heart

raped and abused she wants to fly

but she can't reach any

poets seeking

midnight

~*~

victims

of those needing

love and support publish

the beauty in pain within thoughts

called dirty british groups enchanted house

passions lair hides quickly in realms

thrice forgotton tons of

titles weighing

victims

~*~

kingdom

never unearths

this mortal rose nor shall

 this broken heart of venture bring

shattered dreams to drown out the entity

from innocence which persecutes

guilty screaming dragons

women of gold

kingdom

~*~

melting

into you hushed

facing the wrought furnace

woes of perfect poison throughout

slighted souls reveals syphoned tears let go

without you this flame reflects his

low blow a torn cheater

atomic bomb

melting

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Rules:

 

http://allpoetry.com/board/topic/268620771

 

Poet Dedication: 

 

Midnight-x-Rose  http://allpoetry.com/Midnight-x-Rose

 

Form:

 

Rictameter Chain = First and last ( 2 ) syllable word/s must be the same ( 2 ) syllable words

 

Syllable Count:

 

2 4 6 8 10 8 6 4 2

2 4 6 8 10 8 6 4 2

2 4 6 8 10 8 6 4 2

2 4 6 8 10 8 6 4 2

 

1st ( 2 ) Rictameters are taken from the Groups which this Poet is involved

 

3rd Rictameter is taken from her Homepage information

 

4th Rictameter is pulled from her latest Poetry Titles

 

Title comes from one of her latest Poems

 

Punctuation is not used on purpose for Presentation

 

Flow and Tone come from Poetic Format

 

 

 

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Just Myself
    August 19

    Edit | Reply

    I love it

    the emotion felt throughout this poem is somewhat over bearing but all in all very very beautiful piece


  • Knight70 silver member
    August 17

    Edit | Reply

    Beautifully written in every way!

    Your use of vibrance with language excels here. What incredible dedication to form! I felt many emotions within this piece, both love and sadness. Some of it even struck close to home for me, particularly the part about 'victims.' I went through some child sex abuse when I was 5 at the hands of one of my babysitter's kids.

    Don


    • Arkbear gold member
      August 17
      Edit | Reply
      ....thank you Don....I enjoyed your encouraging review & comment....blessings sent your way....and tanks for sharing part of you.....with me as well,

      Bear -


      • Knight70 silver member
        August 20
        Edit | Reply

        You're quite welcome, Bear. Thanks for the blessings.



        Don


  • Kiddy
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    it's for the first time I feel curious to know what rictameter exactly is... I knew and read lot of poems of such kind, but was not sure of how to write when it comes to writing... Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece... inspiring.

    Love and regards
    Kiddy


  • Mistress Leala silver member
    February 24
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing and powerful piece. Truly enjoyed the write. Love the format.


  • lunarlunacy
    February 22
    Edit | Reply
    not bad


  • Whispered Devotions
    February 6
    Edit | Reply
    *claps excitedly* This is amazing. I am always left envious of your flawless form and even more beautiful choice of words. A true poet by any means, I bow to your brillant work. The first verse of this was my favorite of all and the last verse was simply breathtaking as well. Honestly, there isnt anything I could say bad about this. As usual, well done.


    Amy


  • Life is a Beach gold member
    January 24

    Edit | Reply
    The presentation of this poem is wonderful! An awesome dedication. The author notes were helpful as well.


  • Stardust-luvr
    December 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    many hugs my dear friend as your perfection reads with such fluidity and grace as she truly graces us. your words actually brought tears to my eyes. well done my dear friend and many blessings always xxxx


  • Star Shine
    December 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is truly majestic, your phrases so powerful. A lovely gift.


  • StarEyes
    December 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Uncle Bear,

    What a wonderful write for the Secret Santa poem! This is beyond words! But then again, you have many that are that way! I love how you incorporated so much of her in this one! Great idea!

    and love

    Nyetta


  • maralisa silver member
    December 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    aw wow a very beautiful dedication your emotions are deep and powerful and your imagery divine like always you captured the beauty from your heart and soul thank you for sharing maralisa


  • Desire gold member
    December 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Oh My~

    Brother Bear this is one tight form You have Created and Love the message also the emotional elixir poured from Your quill
    Excellent!! but expected nothing less~

    Love these lines~
    woes of perfect poison throughout
    slighted souls reveals syphoned tears let go

    I imagine a HUGE smile on her face
    after reading Your Gift*gift*
    These lines tug deep at the Heartstrings
    Presentation a feast for the eyes~ You are always so darn good at such

    Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in all You do Brother
    Best wishes too
    with much love & light~ Desire~*~


  • Lady Altheia gold member
    December 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting, the author notes helped to determine what was going on in the poem. Good luck to you in the contest. Best of luck to you in your future writes.

1 - 15 of 15