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my well-being...

Missing image
Oh my love

the phrasing you employ for the love
often makes me warm

especially ,when I am busy doing my work
you arrive brushing my lips by your fingers
grinning with a mystic hint

remarking not a single word  
though, making me to hear the epic of
my well-being

Oh my love...

A contest entry

hGod...

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Desdmona
    February 17

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    Wow

    Good job and cool picture too. Very seductive. Great diction, it helps the piece flow. I wonder why you named it "My Well-Being" rather than "Oh my love..." but it stil works and it's still a good piece. The picture's just as fantasic as the poem. Good stuff.


  • laimra
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    oooooh this is good. it's short and for once i didn't have to read the poem over again. i have to do that alot because im younger and tend not to understand older poems. but i could understand this one!!!great job.

  • Judith Chandler
    January 3
    Edit | Reply
    "brushing my lips by your fingers" - nice phrasing.

  • ashjoe76
    December 13, 2008

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    Great Work

    Very good expression of the height of love and its fulfilment through someone who means the world to you. Congrats!


  • isabellacohen
    December 13, 2008

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    I love your line:
    "you arrive brushing my lips by your fingers"

    passionate, took my breath away,

    thanks for entering,
    best wishes,
    Isabella


  • paulcreates silver member
    December 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yes, women do have a way of making us feel like this.



    Paul


  • hawkeslake gold member
    December 9, 2008
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    Wonderful as usual! You turn even the slightest of suggestive movements into sublime passion.


  • Rose Angel gold member
    December 8, 2008

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    Subtle love messages given by one to another intimately that brings a beauty all their own...Portrayed in a gentle manner...Uniquely beautiful!


  • rhondasail
    December 8, 2008

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    Fluttering phrasing...

    I felt butterfly kisses as I read this...well done!...The use of the words 'grinning with a mystic hint' is perfect and brings the whole spirit of the piece forward...Loved this one. Best wishes in the contest. Peace, Rhonda


  • Hikari Lady
    December 8, 2008

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    Love and God are two topics you seem to favorite and you've become more expirt in them. I love this poem, as it shows love in a different view.
    Best of luck in the contest!

    Much love
    ~Noor


    • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
      December 8, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Well..each taopic in this world is associated only with the topic of the LOVE and GOD..Isn't..?...lol


      • Hikari Lady
        December 9, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Hmmm, yes, seems so. And 'Isn't...?' is your new poem, lol. Got to go check it. ;p

1 - 12 of 12