The begining abroad

i still get 16 sore hours a day
apart from the ones when i'm not sleeping
in my accident prone attempts at avioding mistakes
like catching glimpses of you
and my confussion corners my fear like a wreaking ball
to break me and tear out my insides with nerves
its like i'm stuck in traffic

and my seatbelt is already brocken from anger
there's no more restraints
so i crash clean into a beamer
and pray for fire and a re-birth in flames

i know,
i'll probly just turn into ash
like a freefall into a furnace
but its either that
or a brand new begining
because the first two sucked
and i still cant help finding your face

i still get 16 sore hours a day
apart from the ones when i watch you sleeping
in my stalker aproach to making my tears
leave me be
and the illussion that i still dont care remains
at least for now it remains as a handle
in the same sense i hide from the fact

i'm insane and plain lonely
a fraud and a fony
insensitive with no self-respect

i'm a live but just bearly holding onto prayer
wait its just a matter of time till i break
and tear

i know i'll probly just bleed out my veins
fail at life like i've heard some say
but its either that or a brand new begining
because the first two sucked
and i still cant help finding your face

so long, i know you'll go on with your lives
like you all should and like she does
but the memories suck
and i cant get it together and move on

where's this fresh begining abroad???

i still get 16 sore hours a day
apart from the ones when i start bleeding
these mental wounds don't seem to wither or decay
and i guess they wont untill i stop breathing