Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

.

he's got a lifeless heart that started beating the day I loved you, and meant it.
We knew the pulse, he just couldn't get the blood to flow
and I remember-
a pretty face he kissed, when heads were turned.
Funny-
he was the one with lips parted, dribbling vomit between his teeth-
"but i love you."
Love is relative.

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • UnderThePickleTree
    December 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    *I

  • UnderThePickleTree
    December 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Whoa...

    The imagery in this is intense, but i'm not sure I understand it. Im cant tell what the tone of this poem is supposed to be..