white sky
no birds to fly
the wind blows very hard
the sun hides behind a gray cloud
leaving broken dreams that fall into the ground
and the promises that were made, all vaporized
they're so sad, the dreams of hope
a hope for fairness in unfair world
sunflowers, maybe, but orphans as I see
and for them, I don't see light
I only see the darkness that's facing me.
Author notes
Picture prompted:
http://misantropia.deviantart.com/art/Children-of-the-Sun-96898112
A contest entry
- Quickie- 10/10 by TwilightDazzles.
700 points, ended December 7, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I absoutely loved it
This is amazing
s
This is a pic of me I am ugly
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Great!
100/10
10/1
you always win!
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and the promises that were made, all vaporized
i really like this line, i also am quite fond of the last line. The imagery in this poem was superb. also i just found out... from website 'day' passing time, a new day on here doesnt start for another 8 hours!! so i might not win =/ which will make me sad D: anyhow great write!
Laura. -
this is the best one ive read yet just use caps but other than that this rhyme's wonderful rock on ya keep writting stuff like this
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nice good job but i think u should capitalize the begining word of each stanza and add some punctuation good job and keep up the good work
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Good job friend!
and take ur sadness over.. -
Wow
i like the reference to orphans and sunflowers
good write mate
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"leaving broken dreams that fall into the ground"
Beautiful and mournful, this is a very powerful piece. Good luck in the contest with this gem.
Well penned,
~lost
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Wow, this is a very sad take on the prompt. It's very creative as well...with multiple meanings. Beautiful job! Thanks for entering and best wishes
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This is very sad, and very deep.
I am moved.
and We're against eachother in a contest. How fun xD
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