Tables cluttered with sandwich wrappers,
children screaming around the room like
beasts taking over the room with sound.
A man sits, shivering with cold and hunger.
In his pocket, a wounded, dazed bird.
Blue eyes begged of me without ceasing.
I put my hamburger over on his table and
he handed the singing bird to me.
I took it outside and set it free, returned
and slipped a dollar into his pocket.
The tears on his grimy hand made a mosaic
of madness and hopelessness.
In a list
A contest entry
- Breakfast At McDonald's - Free Verse by Cupcrazy.
1000 points, ended December 28, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you think, but kindly, please.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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What an heartfelt and beautiful story mom. It touched my heart deeply, we should always remember those less fortunate than us there is always someone else worse off we need just to open our eyes and look.
Hug and love,
Theresa
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Beautifully written and expressed. Thanks for the great entry! Hugs, Bunny
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TOUCHING!!!!!!
That is one thing I have noticed is that it always is the people who have abolutely nothing of material value who always are the kindest and most sharing.
's They can sure teach the rest of us some valuable lessons.'s
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Bill says it all. This is fantastic!!! I also love the last line, it left me stunned and created a vision in my mind so real I thought I had read of something from my past.
good luck in the contest!
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This is what poetry, for me, is all about. You have taken a relatively minor incident and turned it into a universal statement about love, charity and the human condition. The poem is excellently written and the final line is both heart-breaking and magnificent.
In admiration,
Bill
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Masterful Write sis!
Masterful imagery from beginning to end...You draw us into the scene of chaos of noise. Where else but MacDonalds! How many birthday parties we had with our son there. The contrasts of generations, and then comfort and the man's desperate need of help..In few lines you tell a story in itself....Worthy of the gold!
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Wow!
What an incredible write! You had me captive from the first to the last word! Loved the vividness of this, your word choice & description were great & the story you told gripping! That pix you posted with this is so fitting & sad! I'm sure you'll do fantastically in this Contest! Bravo...
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A poignant poem of sad inequalties, it is hard to fathom this scene could could still be a part of our land of plenty, and becoming more common place with each passing day. Bless you for your kindness and compassion my friend.
Brother Dennis
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