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a vampire love (My first erotica) (prose)

Crawling like a puma, strattling her bare body. The pale, cold goddess just inches below me. Slowly, parallel to her body, i kis her soft shining neck a few inches upward i soflty press my lips against hers. My tongue penetrates the ice of the ruby smile that was before me. My only purpose was pleasing her. Without retractling my tongue, i slide down her chin, down her neck. I lightly kis her collarbone and continue down. I could hear my breath on her belly, as i was just above her belly button. With a flick of my tongue, i drop downward, pausing once to build tension, before going where i was headed. I wrap my arms around her legs as her intense, heavy, short breathing made my heart jump out of my chest. her cold skin becoming warmer in my arms. Not stopping until the skin grows colder again and my job is done. Without pulling my tonge in once, I venture all the way back up to her jaw, blowing lighly in her ear. She playfully pushes me over on my back, pinning my wrists down beside my head she pressed her ice sculpture body against mine. Aggressively she kisses me for a minute as i thought my breath would be visible in the cold sensation of her mouth before she sat up. Her knees on either side of my hips, as my breathing became as heavy as hers was earlier. I felt her body get colder in comparison with my inclining body heat, by blood boiling,my heart beating faster. i felt her pry her hands under me. Digging her nails in my back. With a slow rhythmic swipe, she jerked her hands down my back. I couldn't tell if it was pain or pleasure, the scratches went immediately cold before the grew hot and the growl i let out told her I enjoyed it but before my growl grew out, she silenced it with her lips, her tongue. I was losing any thoughts of what was going on except this most pleasureable moment. I could hear my heart drumming in my head, it was pounding, building greater and greater until...climax. That is when i felt her pull away from my lips and down to my neck. Her ice cold breath was there before she put her open mouth to it, right before she clamped down. At first, it felt like pressure, then i felt every tooth "pop" into it's place. The pressure I felt as she sucked every bit of blood that seeped to the surface. Then the pain. The fire was burning my neck. She layed beside me her skin growing warmer as the venom changed me.
For now and always, with alice.

Author notes

I just want to say, that i am a virgin. and it will stay like that for a while. so it might not be...accurate.

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Comments


  • im dead - go away
    December 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Before anything: kiss has two S's.

    It's not bad, but it needs practice and refinement. I've put out a lot of virgin erotica myself, and from that experience, I can tell you:
    Focus more on action than on detail. Until you get more experience in things, the detail will be too vague to try to detail in your own mind, much less a piece of writing. I noticed in this piece that the descriptions were kind of awkward, but when you focused more on the simple eroticism, it worked better. Next time, try thinking just the action. If you look at my earliest erotic work, you'll see what I'm saying.