Moans; Ignite.
Urges; Intensify.
Touching; lustfully.
Kissing; Hungrily.
Cravings; Unbearable.
Surrendering to desire.
Pleasure; Climaxes.
Shattering; Reality.
Author notes
My first Erotica... What do you think? 
Any good?
- Erotic Desires group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Seduce me by im dead - go away.
460 points, ended December 29, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Erotic Desires Reading List ~
For your first erotica you did very well; you created a sensually delightful poem that enchants the reader with it's soft words and imagery all for the imagination to go wild with
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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Not bad at all for a first timer!
Very steamy and oh so sensual!
Enjoyed muchly!! -
Wow~
Now You brought some HEAT to this contest and weaving of words
leaves the jaw agape
Wowzers~
The energy released just on HIGH-
Excellent for a First Time
Bravo!!
Keep that quill dancing~
Thank You for sharing Your Talent
Best wishes in all You do
with love & light~ Desire~*~
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very descriptive keep it up you may have something
i love the way the words flowed together ver intresting piece indeed
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i like this its intense and is gripping, flows brilliantly as it just rolls unstopable to the end.
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This is great for your first Erotica.
I love the way that you wrote it.
Well done and thanks for sharing it here!
Jeremy0826 -
So true. This is very good, erotica at its finest.
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L1: since you have the first letter to every other pair capitalized, ignite should be capitalized also.
L4: i think you mean hungrily not hungerly
L5: unbearable instead of unbarable
as for the poem itself, its very good for being so short, and its erotic without it being raunchy. nice writ -
It's nice in its simplicity. You could have more in there, but it's truly not necessary.
You should work with erotica more. -
I think it's really good.But you should add some mor eto it.Also thanks for comenting my poem.
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i liked this very much. For your First Erotica it was pretty good. Maybe just add a bit more into it and it'll be Fantastic!!!!
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This is great but, I think you could have added some more to it. I love the thought that you put into this though. Keep up the wonderful work here and thanks a lot for sharing this one!
Jeremy0826 -
There could be more
It's a good start, I think you could add more to this though and make it really steamy. This is the simplest way to start though so well done. -
I think it's not bad. I know the passion-fire thing is overdone, but what if you extended that through the whole poem? Just a thought.
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I liked it. The choice of words were very good and fitting. I think that maybe if you find a style to write this in, like a more structured way then it would be even more powerful.
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this is great!
had me wanting more, which is a good thing.
i really enjoyed reading this. its very hott and sensual. thanks so much for sharing.
your Faerie
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beautiful! very intense!!
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