heavy rain
the old lady’s sad song
follows me home
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A terrific jux between the sad song and heavy rain, which adds to the thought processes of the reader.
Lots to ponder here, why was her song sad - the poet also seems to be burdened in some way, not only from the weather but something else ... maybe at home.
The fact that 12 syllables causes these thoughts is because the poet shows - but doesn't tell.
...and which is why it is such a super haiku (senryu)
Alan D Taylor
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excellent
alan...thanks for looking in...your comments are always welcome...even if the haiku was bad...you would say...and thats what i like about you...iv'e been looing at haiku in a different way then years ago...i only have me...to workshop my haiku...so to post what i think is good...is hard...again thanks...and this comment...big...real big for me...larry
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is the heavy rain the old lady's song, nice work.
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Wonderful
Aaaw, there's a lot of loneliness in this poem. I really like it.
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cool poem!
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aw such emotion in just those few words. well pen'd
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Let us hope the rain turns to snow so that it can brighten your world, Ros
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hello friend...good to hear from you ros...hope all is well with you
your poet friend...larry
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Speaks of uncertainty,
of tears and fears,
of people left alone...
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well done aesthete2000...thanks...larry
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Your haiku carries with it a sadness...much like any song we hear that reminds us...here you add the old lady...suggesting an even greater intensity...makes the reader wonder about the song, about the old lady and about the situation as a whole.
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hi yemassee...thanks for looking in to this so deep...your commnt is well done...a poet friend...larry
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Like This
I like this dad . it it's self sounds like a song.
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thank you my dreamer girl...love dad
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