poor boy, you are afraid
to touch anything but the strings.
and yet, everytime you play,
you read how a word can die
on her tongue, tasting like the last fizz
of a strawberry soda:
a taste you always liked,
but what a bitter
irony
for today and tomorrow.
Author notes
not written about him, for once.
actually, i saw the picture and thought about someone i know.
kindof based around that.
entry into AP X Factor. i'm so stoked. 
Username: seraphim shock, formerly LiesofDevotion
First name: Lizzy is fine.
Age: 15
General poetic style: I write mostly freeverse, only rhyming if i'm challenged to do so. i think my writing is all over, depending on the write: sometimes it's filled with imagery and sometimes i like to strip it down and make it really simple. i like to add hard endings to my work, but i'm not necessarily as good at starting them. 
Why you’re interested in this contest: well, one because i'm just excited you're hosting again, it makes me really excited. also because the whole thing about not necessarily poetic challenges sounds fun.
In a list
A contest entry
- AP X Factor: Round One [Auditions] by traffic light.
650 points, ended January 1, 2009, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
i believe the world, it spins for you...
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Congratulations! You are one of the 16 finalist to make it to the mainstream of the competition. To confirm your interest in competing, please apply to the group ASAP. Just include an emoticon or whatever you want in the application.
http://allpoetry.com/group/info/The%20X%20Factor?stay=1 -
85
originality: 8
creativity/poetic devices: 7
mechanics: 10
balance of images/ideas: 10
personality/emotion: 8
line breaking/structure: 8
personal opinion: 8
title: 5
rules followed: 5
focus: 4
cohesion: 5
diction: 4
syntax: 3
[extra credit] X Factor: 0
TOTAL POSSIBLE: 100
I love the fact that you made me taste the soda in my mind. Great imagery.
I think you could work on your line breaks a little bit more, but overall, I really enjoyed this poem. I feel like the Paula Abdul of this contest.
~Cassie
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74
originality: 7/10
creativity/poetic devices: 7/10
mechanics: 10/10
balance of images/ideas: 8/10
personality/emotion: 6/10
line breaking/structure: 7/10
personal opinion: 7/10
title: 2/5
rules followed: 5/5
focus: 3/5
cohesion: 4/5
diction: 3/5
syntax: 4/5
[extra credit] X Factor: 0/5
TOTAL: 74/100
Laura
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79
originality: 8/10
creativity/poetic devices: 8/10
mechanics: 10/10
balance of images/ideas: 9/10
personality/emotion: 8/10
line breaking/structure: 9/10
personal opinion: 6/10
title: 5/5
rules followed: 5/5
focus: 2/5
cohesion: 2/5
diction: 3/5
syntax: 4/5
[extra credit] X Factor: 0/5
TOTAL: 79 -
In this case, less is more -- or just enough. Usually, poems with a soda metaphor end up being really dumb, but I thought you took cliche concept and made it unique -- something you frequently accomplish, which is great. It's good to see your poetry again.
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Soda Pop
I adore the soda comparison with a word dying on the girls tongue it's really unusual yet apt. -
Wow!!!
This is magnificent.
Brevity, imagery, meaning, ...
this has it all.
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wow, that has to be the greatest comment i've ever gotten from you.
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