last day :
i've cried and cried
but all i can do is pray, pray that today would be my last day
id close my eyes and close my mind, to the pain that you gave me
each time my mouth wanted to scream, scream like a child
but not a sound would ever pass my split lips
i've cried and cried
but all i can do is pray, pray that today would be my last day
id close my doors and close my locks, whishing it would keep you away
each time you manage to break in, break in like a feath
but not once did i ever tell an you
i've cried and cried
but all i can do is pray, pray that this day
as i lay beaton and broken
will be......... my last day
ok be honest for the first poem ive ever let people see, is it any good?
Comments
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Yeah it's good!
The only thing you gotta' work on is the form of your poem and some spelling (which is pretty important if you ever enter a contest) and that's it!
I like how it repeats the "I've cried and cried, but all I can do is pray, pray that today will be my last day" part.
There's a lot of emotion in this and that's what I like. It's sad how Sh*t happens sometimes...and you wish you could just go and die somewhere - i feel like that a lot lol.
Kudos
Sarah ~
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