Melted Snow

this is not healthy

for me nor your wife

if she ever found out

you'd be in terrible strife

I am your Angel

sent to you for a reason

to love and to play

and give you some pleasin

Im so turned on by you; you know

my juices are flowing

like melted snow

soon I will leave

for the sunshine I go

my love for you

will grow and grow

A contest entry

Forbidden Love by PrincessKazza. 400 points, ended December 18, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

1 - 8 of 8

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
Lady Ireland
December 12, 2008

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Good atempt
But like Juls and joe i think the last line needs changing.. perhaps

"my secret love
inside me you'll grow"

it's you shout babe whatever you like.
Good luck.
D. xxxx
Cannonsfire
December 9, 2008
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Chuckles...you got a one track mind like your um..other half *points down
- geckogirl
  December 9, 2008
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  What can I say it runs in the????
fortyninereasons
December 9, 2008
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much better, glad I revisited
fortyninereasons
December 9, 2008
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I agree with TJ you need to change the last line.
Juls
Cup-a-Joe
December 8, 2008

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Very good rhyme. I would change the last line,somehow as it kinds of repeats the melted snow. Maybe something like this~
my memories of you
will be of how you go~ ?
Remember it's your poem, and do to it what you
want to , not what someone suggests.
Joe
- geckogirl
  December 8, 2008
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  Thankyou very much for taking the time to comment I am not 100% on the last part either
Swangrnv
December 7, 2008
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mmmmmm...
now i'm thinking of snow!! l.o.l. personally i prefer the beach! l.o.l. but u made it sound so enticing , i couldn't help myself!