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Not In The Phonebook




I know where the greatest egret lives;
in the refuge, at Loxahatchee, I saw his
curvy neck and yellow bill

Dark legs perched, on the same tree,
exactly as he stood the year previously
when we had come a visiting.

I'd always thought the egrets more transient,
but this must be his nest address;
a place for hanging one's hat being
the need of every living creature.


It's simple, getting there; just
follow the old road way, way westward
to the vanishment of gated neighborhoods

Then, up a gradual incline
--- the great swamp astonishes!
"Stop by, anytime" Great Egret says

"I'll be here, wearing my best white feathers;
and if, perhaps, you do not see me,
know that you are always welcome here

Where blue water meets magnificent sky,
airboats travel through marsh grasses high;
the resplendent peace of Nature
resides herein forever."





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Comments


  • Spirit of the Water
    September 10

    Edit | Reply
    "I know where the greatest egret lives;
    in the refuge, at Loxahatchee, I saw his
    curvy neck and yellow bill"

    This was a interesting opening that had the reader caught in your description. I honestly did have to look up "egret" and once I found out what it was I was drawn in more by your words.


    "Dark legs perched, on the same tree,
    exactly as he stood the year previously
    when we had come a visiting."

    I like the different wording in this stanza, especially in the last line, it is very original.


    "I'd always thought the egrets more transient,
    but this must be his nest address;
    a place for hanging one's hat being
    the need of every living creature."

    Very breathtaking, this is really a gem to read. I am completely taken in by your thoughts and images.



    "It's simple, getting there; just
    follow the old road way, way westward
    to the vanishment of gated neighborhoods"

    I would suggest deleting the second "way" as I feel it is not needed.

    Though "vanishment of gated neigborhoods" was stunning, it had me look at things another way and did not strike me as cliche but rather as something new to come across.


    "Then, up a gradual incline
    --- the great swamp astonishes!
    "Stop by, anytime" Great Egret says"

    This made me smile, might I add too wonderful flow, it just was easy to read and soothed the soul.


    "I'll be here, wearing my best white feathers;
    and if, perhaps, you do not see me,
    know that you are always welcome here"

    This was so touching, I really liked how you brought this egret alive, into a real character, that made this piece refreshing to read.


    "Where blue water meets magnificent sky,
    airboats travel through marsh grasses high;
    the resplendent peace of Nature
    resides herein forever."

    Beautiful ending, your vocabulary and grammar is very impressive, I found no error. Excellent display of images and you set the scene for the reader quiet well.

    Well-worth the read, thanks for posting.

    God bless you, Child of God!

    ~MaryAnne


  • ASmileForYou
    December 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This took me by surprise, I haven't read many poems like this in a while! Very nice write! Thanks for joining the contest, and good luck!


  • FaerieNWonderland
    December 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is so good.
    it paints a lovely picture of a peacefull place for this bird.
    the flow is great! you wrote this so beautifully.
    i really enjoyed reading this, thanks so much for sharing.

    your Faerie