The change was inserted
to produce the questions
that would frame the desired answers
as the groupmind hacked the edges off
all questioners
Dulling everything into an answer.
A stupid inept facsimile of comfort
called an answer
meanwhile others pondered it and decided
"Dim as goldfish,Fair game."
Now they laugh because they like
how you dance when you are mad.
Silly human absorbtion rate into the group mind is
ridiculous.
516 colors all turning gray
whats the use
it takes a thousand years to use a box
of crayons if your patient
others want to wast your time
and drag you into the group
nothing gets done
no change is inserted
crayons get wasted
creation is labeled inept
hacked to pieces by the groupmind
the dead gray pavlovian groupmind
It made me want to laugh
until I realized I was stuck here.
A contest entry
- What do you have to say to the cynic? by RechercheCadaver.
1000 points, ended January 6, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I think this write is very interesting, especially because of the mentality that it describes. The questions were generated to fit the desired answer...first thing I thought about was Douglas Adams. One thing though, regarding flow: this little bit here "Silly human absorbtion rate into the group mind is
ridiculous." It doesn't seem to flow with the rest of the piece, it's just a mouthful to try and say. Perhaps even changing it so that there is a comma somewhere in there would do the trick. Anyhow, I really enjoyed reading this.
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