I just can’t say what it is in you
that makes me want to lay my pen to rest.
Is it your strong love for misunderstood ideas,
or the way you questioned... everything
without the satisfaction of an honest answer, of course.
How you wanted those answers too,
but still,
I think you knew when you asked that you would never get them.
Would you wonder if it were punishment, or proof,
or maybe
just some unseen part of a plan,
doomed to fail?
We were all fooled were we not?
Whether trickery, compassion, sabotage or flattery,
you prove to me, yet again,
that I am wanton.
and I never want to see my pen again.
No never.
You robbed me of my gift,
or should I say
you robbed me of the confidence I had in my giftlessness,
and yes,
I know that is not a word, but to me
it feels as real as these keys, cold under my fingertips,
I could wish for you to settle next to me,
to feel me dream awhile,
and maybe even learn to muddle through self inquisitions
to lend me your aching heart.
But I know better than to wish it,
for I know now that I would never be strong enough
to survive you.
Author notes
Possibly one of the most important piece I have ever written... it's personal.
I know you do not like "love" poetry, but this is a bit different.
A contest entry
- Poetry That Matters by Cupcrazy.
3500 points, ended February 6, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Extension of You by Nazrulith.
750 points, ended April 17, 37 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Yeah I am not big on love smoozy as I call it, lol. But this piece was lovely. I enjoyed the conversational style of the piece. The emotion was well done and seemed to ebb and tide in the piece, just as it would in a conversation between two people struggling to come to grips with not only themselves but each other. Excellent work, hugs, Bunny
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Yes, this is not traditional love poetry, but one of relationship, human need for connection. Both characters here NEED to connect, but cannot... he because of his odd way of perception that would capsize him if turned to the self reflection necessary for true, vulnerable intimacy, her because she can't get to what she needs most from him. I love the conversational style of this and the slow revelatory nature that leads up that that last daunting stanza. Well done, poet.
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Thank you so much. I find you amazingly perceptive and that is refreshing. I really appreciate your compliments.
Carrie
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You are a wonderful poet.
it makes me think alot
I seriously love this.
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Your talent seems to know no bounds, this is so very prolific, and yet never despite its distinct imagry and superb construction do you loose your thrad
This is a simply mavelous piece of work
thanks for sharing
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Thank you for your review. It goes beyond the normal "Nice piece" type of review I usually get, and it was encouraging, so thank you again.
Carrie
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As well written as this is, the sentiment is very foolish. Why on earth are you challenging your gift? It sounds to me like you've stacked the worth of your writing into another person- which is crazy. Poetry doesn't have any intrinsic artistic value- it's the most immensely personal of all of the art forms.
That being said, you are very talented- your poetry has often made me smile and frown and reconsider my opinions. This particular piece is like a little Venetian Renaissance; loaded with graceful emotionality, sensitive color. It would pain me to see you put down your pen. -
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I would never want to cause anyone pain.... I think that I am just putting it to bed for a while.
What you say is amazing and true. It is very foolish to measure any gift against another, and in some ways I think I am guilty of that, but in a lot of ways, I know it is just a temporary feeling, something I cannot change until a little time passes. Than I can look back and say, "What was I thinking anyway?"
I don't know if it is just part of being young, part of being a woman or just part of being human, but I think we all go through periods where we have to stop and study ourselves, and sometimes realize that we need to change a few things. I am very thankful to have meant something to you, and in a way that makes everything worthwhile.
Thanks
Carrie
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I've read this five times, now,
and when I get to these lines,
"I could wish for you to settle next to me,
to feel me dream awhile,
and maybe even learn to muddle through self inquisitions
to lend me your aching heart."
my heart just sinks.
I read so much dissapointment in those lines, and there is so much I wish I could say in reply.
I've started trying to write again after many years, and even though my muse left me long ago, I write to try to find her. The grace and beauty of your writing is an inspiration.
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Thank you so much.
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lay down your pen?
that would be very tragic for those of us who look foward to your writes. You have only proven again in this piece why that would be a huge mistake.
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