Soft lights slowly withered,
paint splashing watercolors
(over our tuned bodies)
His hands grazed the silk of my dress
delicate porcelain burned
at his fiery touch
We embraced the rhythm
Silver moon singing blissful serenades
(Waking dreams looked up)
at the panorama lights,
and smiled shyly
Warm hands pressed around thin waist
as souls were lost in the mysteries
of sweet melodies
Misty vision
looked at his tender face
While starting at its purity
I knew..
This waltz was our destiny
My heart was his, and his my own
For after this night,
Life had become love
and love; our biggest enemy
Author notes
Option 4: Dancing With The Enemy
Photo Credits: Deviantart.com
"Dancing with destiny and destiny is our enemy"
A contest entry
- FAMOUS LAST WORDS AMONG A MIX OF OTHER OPTIONS by badnovocaine.
900 points, ended December 22, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
very nice
I really liked the rythem of this write. You said a lot in a short piece. I believe you are right on so many things here. Good luck in the contest! The Shaker -
Another brilliantly penned piece by you. I loved the vivid imagery in this one. Gold for sure! Gold, I tell you! Hehehe. Well done and good luck love
Much love
Ylova
-
(Waking dreams looked up)
at the panorama lights,
and smiled shyly
------
Hey good take on the title
It was different than I had expected, the ending was what really got me, a big twist.
Anyways love the symbolism in this write, love can either be an enemy or your friend, but sometimes both. It is neutral but blind at the same time, a glass half empty, yet full, maybe perhaps a monster lurking in the dark recesses of your mind.
Good twist in the contest, thanks for entering
-
This was a very interesting one, the title gave me a different thought of what to expect, but you held my attention within each line. It's great. And I love the end, love being the greatest enemy. And interesting view, bc love makes us do amazing things and act certain ways. Good luck in the contest
-
You've certainly painted a vivid scene here. I enjoyed how you meshed music and art together(paint, watercolors, rhythm, serenades, melodies, waltz). I also adore the opening stanza:
"Soft lights slowly withered,
paint splashing watercolors
(over our tuned bodies)
His hands grazed the silk of my dress
delicate porcelain burned
at his fiery touch"
Beautifully written. Best of luck to you.
-
I was wondering how the title played into this poem and at the end it finally showed me. Yes, love has lots of strings attached to it...it can be both heaven and hell...especially if those who fall in love have impediments between them...whether mental, physical, or otherwise. It begs that old question, "Is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?"
-
This is great. So beautiful, soft and romantic. You set me up perfectly for the sucker-punch of that last line. That was brutal, came out of no where and floored me. Excellent!
-
For after this night,
Life had become love
and love; our biggest enemy
amazing lines from your pen
-
wow...this is amazing, wonderful flow, and powerful entrancing words, good luck and take care
Stephanie ♥
-
Love can be a great enemy indeed, i like how you referred to that...dancing with destiny
This is another great write alyzeh.
Keep hope at heart, always
All the best to you in the contest
Ken
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
