The party eleves dance
dressing gift boxes with care
candy,dolls, and cards
Author notes
elves/dressing/ giftboxes/dolls/cards/candy
A contest entry
- Allpoetry Kids Christmas Bash 2008 (win a gold membership) by Little Eagle.
4200 points, ended January 11, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I like this haiku
the only thing that I would point out is that you have a spelling mistake in the first line ("eleves" instead of "elves") - other than that this is a good haiku that gives an insight into what is in those boxes
Merry Christmas!
Polly
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You have tried to write a Haiku and I compliment you for that. Although it's only a poem of three lines it is very hard to make a good one. The rule is to write three lines of 5-7-5 syllables. Well done here!
In the first and second line you write two things connecting with each other and in the last line something which seems to have nothing to do with it - called an aha moment.
You can also do it upsite down... first one sentence and then the two connecting sentences.
I will try to give an example.
one white Christmas tree
standing in front of the house
inside burns the stove
The Christmas tree is outside and white because of the snow. You make yourself a picture in your head of this cold white tree.
Then the 'aha' sentence says: inside burns the stove.
This is a contrast with "cold white snow" of "warmth" and "melting snow".
You can also think about the wood of a Christmas tree, which is used for heating the stove.
All of a sudden the picture in your head changes.
This is only an example and you probably can make a much better one. Try it again. I am sure you can do it! Good luck.
Anna.
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aw!
cute!
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aw!
thanks
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