What is this feeling
That tastes like sunbeams
Rising up within me
Goin’ round and round
‘Til I feel a bit sickly
And it sure doesn’t stop ‘til your feet’ve fallen off
And lungs that want to scream deflate
It chokes you up with joy
It's great -
You wanna sing
Hear! Hear! I'll run down screaming,
Drown your contempt, with my senses all reelin’
An’ if you can't come along, yeah you got no feeling,
’Cause it feels like I could fly through this ceiling!
And if you’re made of anything
Yeah you’ll come along believing
‘Cause I was raped of satisfaction
When I was just grieving
And man your awkward lies made me start deceiving
Myself
But those times are gone, gone, ‘cause
I wanna sing!
Hear! Hear! And we’ll run down screaming,
Drown your damn contempt, with our senses reelin’
An’ they can't come along ’cause they got no feeling,
But it feels as though we could fly through this ceiling!
Spinning wasted
In my spirit
Drowsed by wine
Young and it;
Blood bringing oxygen waving in my - spirit
Swilling through my veins and giving me It
-Air!-
Yeah, it’s better than - you
And nobody cares
Because they’re puffin’ on tabacco too
And we, yeah we were made to be alive
And God I’m gonna give myself alive and out tonight
(Before I wet myself)
HOLD ON TIGHT YEAH -
Scream! Scream! We run down screaming,
Drown your contempt, an’ our senses reelin’
They can't come along, yeah they got no feeling,
But it feels like we could fly through this ceiling
Fly through this ceiling, fly through this ceiling
It's being A Live... It's being exhiliarated... It's, yeah, oh, man-alive,
It’s bein’ alive… ’Cause you made me alive, I am alive… Oh yeah I am alive…
Author notes
'Tired eyes rarely see a good future.'
A contest entry
- Options (Woo-hoo) by Bailey Girl.
890 points, ended December 8, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
quite incredible
In all honesty this is the BEST poem I have read in a very long time. I think it is better than you think it is. The rhyme scheme is eccentric and slightly distorting to the head, in a good way. I can see this in an actual anthology, a best seller one at that!
The title itself, I don't know if it was intended, I expect it was, but it just has multiple meanings and many more interpretations possible with it!
The layout, people say it can be trivial, but where you have put extra lines in (e.g. "When I was just grieving
And man your awkward lies made me start deceiving
Myself") is again, slightly distorting to the head. "Myself", logically, belongs on the same line as "decieving", the way you have stuck it on its own line makes it so much more vivid.
I would give it three applauds if I could...but alas, just one left.
-
This is really something else. Paints a Wonderfull picture of a past life in contrast to the future. Real colourful, with the lesson of Living life, rather than wonder aimlessly with 'tired eyes.' Great!
oh yeah, You might wanna remove the ADULT catorgory if you want this in the contest.
Silly Sarah!!!
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