Seems like all we ever do is fight anymore
I speak with trepidation
Afraid anything I say will bring a rage from you
Every move I make, I feel scruitinized
I could take a drink of water the wrong way
And you'd lash out, angered eyes flashing brilliantly
I'm walking on a wire with you
One wrong move, and it'll all come crashing to the ground
I can only hope it will be death on impact
Author notes
I will probably revise this several times before the contest ends. But I may not. Please, if you read this before judging, know that it might change drastically, so be sure to check back. Let me know what I could to to make it better.
A contest entry
- Titles # 1 by cirque du soleil.
525 points, ended December 13, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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this is a disturbing poem sounds like your in a abusive relationship ? if so send me the name address and phone number and I will make sure the bastard has a great Christmas with my foot up his ass
Lucian -
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I'm no longer in a relationship anymore. The guy I just broke up with was actually a great guy, but I just don't know if I feel the same way about him anymore. This particular poem is about the guy I dated before that, sort of. But thank you for being ready to defend me. I'll make sure any of my future boyfriends read this comment so they know what they'll be dealing with if they hurt me. Have an aweseome Christmas Lucian! -Liz
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wow this is brilliant word usage elissa.... better than ur brilliant photoshop usage!!!!
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you WOULD say that Sara.
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*nods*... cause im awesome
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Hmm..this is pretty good...kind of what I had in mind for this title. I like your vocabulary, but I thought the last few lines broke the flow a little. Also, the background seems unfitting. Not that it's a big deal, of course. I will be sure to check back, this piece has potential!
Thanks for entering! -
Whoa.........
This is such a good description of the controlling behavior that I myself have experienced in times past. You nailed exactly how it felt!! I've had that feeling and boy does it take a toll on a person mentally! Good emotion and visualization.
Nice job!
CP
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