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Skin

 

You crossed my mind
and I felt it
like a laser beam
traversing a brace of genitals
turning all things
the cool colour of skin
and then it starts –
someplace down the tracks
where a ghost crosses over -
like seventy-seven pages
of the book of noise
and I think it’s almost criminal
what your skin does to mine

You speak to me in patterns
then, before you cross the street
you turn your head
look right, look left
look under your skin
chew your lower lip
brush your hand down your pants
up under your shirt
to find a ball of belly-lint
and by chance
yes, quite by chance
dawdle there
then look up
to find
me
watching
you















Skin
©crisstiena

Author notes

A Moment Like This
Douglas Goetsch inspired poetry


Image by by `foureyes@deviantART

In a list

A contest entry

critical reviews welcome, but BE NICE

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • zt
    September 23

    Edit | Reply
    Something about this made me just smile. There is a certain whimsey to it (and not just Lord Peter either). I really liked this even though some of the images passed by unrecognized (77 pages?). Thanks for the smile and congrats on the gold!


  • cvillelisa
    December 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply


    Congrats to you on your gold! Who would have ever thought belly lint could be so erotic.

    Lisa


  • DolceVito gold member
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Extraordinary write, enjoyable read...I found the reference to belly lint a bit shocking and humorous. Shocking because I refer to belly lint in my quote on my profile page....Good job
    Vito

  • Rowan gold member
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Renee picked the lines that stood out to me as well.
    But I loved this piece in it's entirety. Surprised me with belly lint, but I it was a great surprise. lol.
    Thanks so much for entering this moment.


  • Balldinger silver member
    December 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    ...and bone

    oh man - busted again! an arch of quadrant loftings stored beneath a nervous surface, rocked on a river's edge; billowing down below, and everywhere is just around the next corner.

    another stalwart performance weaving sultanic words with the way you see things from your very special persepective.


  • Nicolette gold member
    December 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is lovely - you have indeed captured a special moment here. There are so many lines that I simply adored in this write and wish I'd thought of them!

    ~ Nicolette


  • jo-el
    December 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i love what you do with words. the first stanza set us up nice. it takes my min everywhere strange. and the 2nd while full of imagination gets so real i forget its symbolic. excellent


  • Night Hope gold member
    December 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    "and I think it’s almost criminal
    what your skin does to mine"

    Ooohhh, I remember that feeling, all too well. I love it. How could I not, considering the source? You are such a talent to behold, my dear Friend. Thank you for sharing your gift with us. Good luck in Kathleen's contest, Sweetie. Happy holidays to you & yours.


  • poetryality silver member
    December 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You surely captured a moment here dear poet. There is a sense of closeness and kinship that seeps from these words.

    "like seventy-seven pages
    of the book of noise"

    Love those lines, and these;

    "You speak to me in patterns"

    A poem about how familiar we can become with those we love to the point of knowing. A very finely crafted poem. I wish you well in the challenge.



    Much Love ♥

    Renee

1 - 9 of 9