We put up the christmas tree today, me and beth
and filled the downstairs rooms with riotous christmas cheer
[so, 'they' are lead to be believe]
like lead balloons
left to burst
popped shards of broken ornaments fill bruised boxes
as if my heart had smothered itself from the inside/out
[damn me! if i couldn't hear your voice in my head - again]
i will not get all cutsiepie corn-fed big lipped under the mistletoe
i will not cry about you
i will not go on and on and on in my head and wring my hands
nor will i wash you, out of my tinsel laden head
where i bumped the fairy off the top of the tree because the step ladders wobbled-over
over you?
am i
i don't know
but my secret santa wish
is written on special card; perhaps a few kisses
wondering
if you ever come by this way
will you read?
& kiss
me
Author notes
meh!
In a list
A contest entry
- Shh - Don't tell anyone by Suzanne Dia.
3500 points, ended January 5, 28 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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so so so lovely.
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This was gold to me. Beautifully done, hon.
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The description in this poem is wonderful. the ending is very wistful... i dont know if that word should have a h in it or not... anyway, a fantastic write. hope all is well.
GReat work.
Laura. -
No critique so I will just leave this
♥Becky♥
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...now I feel like I've been away too long
How's everything? I think you need to send me a big fat message updating me on how things are with you.
Wonderful writing, as always. We're all great here...seems like only yesterday Sol arrived and we're already half way through the three months!
Anyway, I digress...forgetting that this is a comment on your poem and not an IM!! So, send me one! Love to hear from you.
xxx
Long Lost Lucy
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this makes me wish i could be right there and give you a big hug
i am glad to see you write - i know you have so much going on emotionally and
well... i am just glad
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broken ornaments fill bruised boxes...
perfect imagery!
and I know the feeling of not being able to hear someone's voice in my head anymore.
this poem has a ton of heart.
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so many images twisted amidst the holidays here.
I'm one of those people that always looks at decorating with mistletoe but finds myself not quite able to envision myself to buy it. Who'd have thunk any of us would be that COY (coughs).
Really though, such images do stick and are hard to shake when the things we had wanted most linger through the holidays.
So very well done as always.
Kim
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that's a tender, touching poem of unrequited longing. you make a confectionary thing here that is sweet and sour, a hard candy that is now slowly melting in my mouth. -s
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wow such an emotional write. I know holidays r ruff. but keep it flowing.
best of luck to you in the future and with your writing.
andi
(redhanded) -
holidays are hard. trust me, i know.
i miss you.
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This is a powerful write - I love the way that it drew me in, and I could imagine that I was seeing the same crushed decorations which doesn't sound that great, but it was a hell of a write and I loved every minute of it!
♦ M
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sweet and sad
I feel your torment here pal. Are 'THEY' that important. Don't give up what makes you feel good so long as it doesn't impose and poetry doesn't so write pal, write. Being bloody good at it too helps !!!
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the third stanza made me read this over and over
*blows a kiss over the big pond*
merry merry girlie
peace and hugs
Muddy
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this is outstandingly good, a really well crafted, and very creative write, with imagry that seemed to be almost touchable
truly incredible
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more than meh, this is too, where I seem to be in my life. these days. now. ty, for this. you've opened my eyes toward a hopeful of tomorrows.
~tand d. spiel.
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I got a quicker cure for you gilly, go talk for an hour with Alex and your brain turns to mush and you can't think or remember anything you did before the conversation started, it's like free therapy, you go in normal and come out totally insane but feeling really good
C
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"Cryin' Waitin' Hopin'..."
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i'm happy that you wrote this, gilly... it is writing towards the light, my friend
loved the honesty here, but then that is how i've come to know you and your poetry
you have a great Xmas, dear one
me loves you
~ Nicolette
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have i told you, that i love you
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Sadly I understand
You have been missed.
I am always in awe of your writing but saddened here with what you write.
I hate the holidays.
Jim
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you know why the golden fish make dreams come true?
because they're mute
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bloody good job they can't talk either
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happy fucking christmas..
love you
m
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love you too Miss Moo
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