D'ye ken John Peel?
He's a wee bit thick
He's got three bawws
And a four inch prick;
And he tosses off
Till he's feeling sick;
And his blankets look like porridge
In the morning.
Ah ken weel John Peel
And I'll be quite blunt
He's no guid at all
He's a wee stupid runt;
If I had ma' way
I'd kick him in the cunt
And he'd no' see the light
O' the morning.
In a list
- A List of Tribute Poems to Bonnie Scotland and to Great Scots Writers like Irvine Welsh, William McGonagall & Robert Burns etc. • next in list
A contest entry
- A Wee Contest for Saint Andrew's Day by Keith.
700 points, ended December 16, 2008, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Haha well that was a quick switch for the brain. Very different from what I've been reading today
A little graphic, but humorous nonetheless, lol.
bravo and thank you for entering
♥ kate -
Thank you
for entering my contest. Not sure what prompt inspired you
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You really are an exquisitely vulgar person, Douglas, my dear, and that is why you are on my favourites list. I can't remember if I have dedicated a poem to you or not. If not, let me know, fatso.
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Well, I think John Peel is more Cumberland than Scotland, but never mind, this is a deliciously unpleasant little verse. It recalls this version:
D'ye ken John Peel
Aye ah ken him verra weel
He went oot wi' a lassie
But he couldnae get a feel
I don't recall the rest. Well done. -
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didn't seem to do justice to scottish humour, literature or to john peel for that matter
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This is lovely. I just know Keith will appreciate your adult humour. I shall be hard pressed to write anything more common for this contest. I shall have to refer to my Irvine Welsh compendium..........................
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Well, I'm a wee bit at a loss here but it is funny.
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