confine

i'm freezing
i'm high.

i tasted love once;
just with the tip of my tongue
but we had been like an electrical storm
sparking fire
and the flame spread up
my tongue burnt
to ashes and metaphors. i couldn't speak except in circles.

and this is where he left me
to wander
so i'm walking

head down; volume up.
people eye me through their
city limits
regarding me with judgments; i know
they see the color
dripping out of my eyesockets
my eyes are wide
staring

a cop stops me.
picks me up
throws me in back.
"do you know where you're
going
little missy"
"no but i know where i've
been"
he looks at me suspiciously
and i'm laughing
touch and go in my
(high) heels

the cop hit me.
i remember prison cells
weird mumblings
scratchings in the stone
and i don't remember who asked
but i remember being asked
and i remember
"yes" i say "yes and we are eating each other
alive"
initial transport
everything going white
and i remember the solitude that followed
such bittersweet openings
most of all