the earth is sleepy
as a pine box
and i
obey
beneath the potting soil
the granite
and a million year old flower
for some strange reason
black water
is sucking me down
with the cypress knees
and the skeletons
of the deep south
those cold shadows
penetrated
behind church doors
and great staircases
to nowhere
why am i awake
and the casket
asleep
under a short glass
of moonlight
in the bayou
or the ozarks
is it early spring
or october
and this cricket
keeping me alive
in the simple life
rubbing my six cold feet
with his
In a list
A contest entry
- Looking for Crickets 4 by Celticmoon.
1750 points, ended January 23, 2009, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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yeah, yeah, yeah. a kindred spirit!
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*sigh*
I miss the bayou. I miss seeing the alligator eyes staring back at me. I miss the swamp cypress, and the echoes of the mockingbirds, the fragrance of wild honeysuckle. . the graceful Spanish moss dancing.
I miss the sound of crickets, and how they'd trade off lyrics with the bullfrogs.
Makes me miss Louisiana and the fishing I used to do. Beautifully elemental, little cricket.
Jin
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What can I say here?
Damn Richard, you have no idea how awesome it is to be able to have some time to sit and read your words again. I have missed them so
I just knew that you r words would bring something forth to really swirl the mind kidnapping it and trapping it into deep thought. There is only one thing I can say and that is BRAVO!
Blessings
Bel
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*cricket*
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Organic !
...full of soft sounds and the scent of hot summer night...
"a short glass
of moonlight...", I like that line!
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There is so much that I can say -
I cried here.
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Fabulous piece. When I got to the stanza of the cypress it reminded me of a place called swan lake in SC. I was there in winter and the black waters of the cypress seems to beckon. It was interesting to watch the swans there, it seemed as though it sucked them in and yet at the same time they carried it. As though they were the lifeline that kept them from freezing to death as the trees iced over. I remember thinking that I felt like the cypress and so wanted to be the swan. This took me back there. Powerful and strong my brother, don't touch it.
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What sharp-edged writing, full of pwoer and msytery, full of knwoing without daring to know....wonderful, my friend.
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Aww, this was so depressing. lol. But almost in a curl up in a blanket with your honey bunny kinda way. In lieu of a hunny bunny, a bottle of whiskey works great! Loved the ending. It was melancholy with just the right touch of emotional nonchalance. Loved the "cyprus knees" line. I'm a Southern girl at heart, even though I'm currently pretending to be a Michigander, eh.
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I see someone's raised the bar already. lol.
I liked this alot, wowser.
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Hell yeah. You amaze me.
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I think you must have taken a right turn into Yoknapatawpha County ... this is much too grotesquely genteel for Dogpatch
I love it Mr. Faulkner!!!!
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