Upward and over the mountain I wobble slowly on
The breath taking beauty regns supreme
I feel as if I am walking in a dream
The leaves softly rustle in the breeze tonight
The colors of amber and soft sunlight
a bend in the path leads me astray
The only thing I wish is that I can stay
My legs are old and shaky and wobble just a bit
Think I'll stop awhile and just sit
The birds are flying south and life carries on
Life will keep going even when I'm gone
I struggle to continue with each and every step
When I found myself at the top I simply stopped and wept
It wouldn't be long till this is my last trip
I remember when I could run and skip
Now every day is a struggle and I keep pressing on
Up and over the mountain till all hope is gone
Author notes
I chose option 3 letter a,"Upward Over The Mountain"by Fire and Wine
A contest entry
- You like Prompts? You like Options? Enter and you shall receive JUST that! Click, click, click! You know you want to! ^_^ by Joseph Hollis.
1000 points, ended December 15, 2008, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1011 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How does this make you feel .
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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It is the circle of life...loved this because I work in a nursing home and feel their heart in matters like this...blessings
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Very sad but, so inspiring! It's always great to know that despite our disabilities we can always press on in life. One way or another we make up for it and can find ourselves feeling inspired and motivated in life. Wonderful thought here and good luck to you with it!
Jeremy0826 -
You've captured the effects of age upon our physical bodies here and offered a glimpse at mortality. The imagery in this piece is top notch. Well done and thank you for participating in the contest.
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Great word choice. I love your take on the title. One of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands. Hehe. And it is Iron and Wine btw
Well done and thank you for your entry. Good luck.
Love,
Ylova
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Wonderful!! ..mmm creeping age "I remember when I could run and skip"
The endless energy of youth, certainly fades with age.
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Good Job
Good Job, beautiful imagery. I often wish I was younger and had more energy. This poem is great at depicting what happens as we get older.
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What a beautiful poem of reflection on life, using a metaphor of going up onto a mountain to the top..Your flow and ryhme is excellent...Imagery and vivid pictures of yourself as you walk that mountain....A delightful yet somewhat sad read...Excellent!
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great poem, i like the picture you have painted here,the struggle of getting older aka life
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Very nice writing and good rhyming. The struggles of getting older, oh how I know! LOL!
Many Blessings, FAH -
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Poet
So very eloquent a write. It speaks for many in life's journey. Sad yet beautiful as we pass on towards our star. Deep and reflective. Bravo.
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Lovely thoughts. It is easy to recal the days of our youth, when we skipped aboit and ran here and there, always running. It felt good, and we seldom tired. All we had to do, take 15 min rest or so and we would be off again. Life does change for us, as our bodies slow dowm like the weekly wall clocks wound once each week. Make w ll use of your remainiong days, keep active and enjoy each day as if it were your lsst. May god bless you.
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Very nice poem, you ae brave to travel up a mountain on wobbly legs. I love how the poem reads. Good luck to you in the contest.
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Sorry if this so long, just trying to make you feel better and letting you know how I feel about this poem (although I think you are truly talented.)
Life will keep going even when I'm gone
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This poem was great and made me feel, but I do disagree when you say life will keep going after your gone, because I am a firm believer that death goes on also, it is as if death too, has a life of it's own, even if your not here physically doesn't mean you still don't move on.
I mean I don't know that for sure but everything has to have something to balance it all out, peace can't live without chaos, life can't be without death also, but if chaos is just as real as peace, then death is just as real as life, so who knows if you truly die but don't go somewhere else.
Sorry just had to get that out there, anyways I didn't mean to get so philosophical I am just in one of those kinds of moods, I really did think this poem was good, actually too good
I guess in short I was trying to say that this poem hit me right in the heart, I like reading sad poems but I like to try to cheer the person up to the best of my intentions, this put an arrow right through my heart.
I LOVED THIS and good luck to you in the contest, although this poem is so good you don't need luck.
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This poem is very emotional, but I think perhaps a few concrete images would really bring it to life. Perhaps images of your theme of age and loss of vitality presented in nature.
I really like this poem. It has truck loads of potential.
Blessings,
C
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