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the bloody sparrow is a poetic cunt, don't point at me.

i put a crow
inside my gut
its feathers talked
to inner red
of atlantic fucks

i didn't bother to coffin
my thoughts into paper that night

the crow was shitblack
and i couldn't word a sparrow
just for the heck of it.

Author notes

evil tempest:
meltedglaciers


the ocean symbolizes depth.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Joseph Hollis
    January 3

    Edit | Reply
    bien, bien.

    "atlanta fucks"
    "didn't bother to coffin"
    "the crow was shitblack"
    and so forth.






  • Grunts Girl gold member
    December 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oh when you have feeling in your write it is impressive...
    i loved this


  • Rembrandt Clarke
    December 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful flow and energy


  • parachute fog
    December 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    "couldn't word a sparrow"

    insane how creative that was.


  • notorious
    December 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    And I liked "shitblack"


  • notorious
    December 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ah, restarted my computer

  • notorious
    December 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Gotta say, that's one of the most awesome titles I've seen in a long time. Trust you to think of something so retina-blindingly-awesome.

    "its feathers talked"
    That sounds so foreshadow-y to me, or like a nonchalant observation of "Why life is fucked up". Love this personification

    "i didn't bother to coffin
    my thoughts into paper that night"



    How bloody genius...'coffin' Where in the hell did you make up something so genius? I love that I can have more than one interpretation of it...seriously, I don't think anybody does non-spaced words/pun-like things better than you do.

    My mouse is fucked-up, so I can't scroll to reread your ending,
    but it was tres tres bien.



    Thanks soooo much for entering, I was about to nag you

    ---
    Jessica

    Postscript:
    Remind me to give this applause later;
    my mouse literally can't CLICK onto anything
    and I suck with hot keys.
    :C


  • Nicolette gold member
    December 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is so very creative... you definately know how to coffin word and give them wings at the same time!

    ~ Nicolette


  • Cannonsfire
    December 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is a lump and a half, did someone get out of the wrong side of the bed??


    • iverbthenoun
      December 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      lol... lump and a hlaf, eh? no the right side of the bed... thankfully

1 - 12 of 12