Some days smell like a Tibetan hell, its coldness
shows doorways to new blood, minding whether
concepts of wholeness are just an empty shell.
Translating thoughts into endless blue, until
light in children's eyes sing the universe's dream.
Lies seems disconnected functions of a prehistoric
machine; my many loves, its oil, transcends
the beats and heats of animal kingdom's night.
Evolution's asking hand holds up for payback now.
Author notes
Thankful for the possibilities to improve yourself.
Thankful for the search what's it like to be a human.
A contest entry
- Give me your reasons why you are thankful by Rend the Veil.
900 points, ended December 9, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
This is lovely. Soft. . yet surprising, as always your imagery seems to be. Will read more
.
-
-
thank you
-
-
Awww. Rend will love this. Of that, I am sure. A great write ineed. Good luck in the contest
Much love
Ylova
-
Outstanding
The second stanza was my favourite. You write with a fine eye for detail and I am always impressed by your metaphors. I liked your choice of language and the way you developed the theme. Simply brilliant! Best of luck in the contest.
-
-
thank you very much. you always give me the feeling I'm on the tight track
-
-
Third line I would change is to are because of the tense you are using - Translate same thing should be translating because of tense used - this is fabulous - your pieces are getting so good - best of luck in your contest
-
-
ah, the tenses..thanks for pointed it out, will fix it...
-
-
well done Erwin,
I am amazed theway you gather your words together, each stanza makes sence! thank you for your entry
Blessings
Rend
-
-
Thank you Rend, this one was hard to write but good
Erwin
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
