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Seclusion in the sky

Missing image
Drifting in the
moments,moving
one to the next,
sifting through
memories,
smiles
and sighs
wondering if I
will ever again-
always it seems
to be a thought
skipping,jumping,pounding
inside my mind.
Over the pain
it slides past,
moving to the
smile I saw
held in your eyes
treasured, needed
received and held
inside my soul
till I find
seclusion in
the skies-

Author notes

"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts"
option 1 pic a Solitude's Skies by Ylova Hamdan

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10
  • meena krish
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    I like the flow in this write. There is much to think
    about and I also like how you weaved your feelings
    with nature..simply beautiful!

  • Silver Sionnach
    December 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is lovely and haunting. You've captured the image and woven into words that are flowing and inviting. Very well written and, as everyone else has mentioned, you have no problem with rhythm or flow.

    Congratulations in regards to the contest and for a well written piece of work.

    ~ L


  • BellaxMorte
    December 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I really really enjoyed this. <3


  • chilali
    December 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful. A lovely take on the picture. I love the words, the imagery, the flow, the format! Everything. Thank you for your entry and good luck to you!

    Much love
    Ylova


    • greyhaime silver member
      December 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks so much for the comment again, the contest was great, and I loved your pic..
      cheers!!

      Krystal


  • LionessK silver member
    December 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful words for a beautiful picture. You did well tesoro, as you always do.



  • Disturbed Prodigy
    December 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    all i have to say is that this was a great read, i love what you did with the picture, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • worshipchick
    December 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow- great piece! The imagery, the mood, the emotion were all great. It didn't feel choppy with the short lines, it worked well with the piece. Definitely connected with me as well. Impressive. :-) Blessings!


    • greyhaime silver member
      December 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks so much,, much of my writing is done in short lines like this, I am glad you enjoyed it.

1 - 10 of 10