I was lonely in the room,
sitting on a chair with a round old table
In the middle.
There was no fireplace so wasn’t any fire.
And besides that in this damn hot country
who needs a fire to burn?
On that moonlit night
I was alone in my corner
without a soul in sight.
I was pondering with grave interest
About the faith healers.
I was thinking whether
The hell or the company of the loonies
going to suit me better?
While I remained lost
In my thoughts,
descended a curious figure.
I was busy with my thoughts
so it wasn’t very clear
whether he came up from the heaven
or down from the hell’s deepest layer.
But he in warm familiar mood
made himself cozy on a chair.
I looked up and noticed the figure
He was a dark slender fellow
with sharp pointed nose and his eyes were kind of yellow.
Though they glittered like hell fire
and shone like a knife but they also felt somewhat hollow.
The man sat opposite to me and fixed his curious gaze…
His face was half silhouetted in the darkness
As if an actor on the stage.
He greeted me with a very tired voice
and announced himself as Devil.
So first time in hours I felt sort of moved
and asked the funny old Devil
“So what makes you visit me Mr. Devil?
I didn’t really offer a deal
and I don’t know anyone
whom I have recently killed.
So what’s the matter that made you to see me?
What’s it all about Mr. Devil?
Poor little Devil coughed a bit
Cleared his throat and started to speak
“ Well my man you were pondering about what suits you best
A trip to t hell or perhaps Institutional rest.
But I think you’ve forgot to mention
A place called haven
where God is known to live.
That struck me as kind of odd
why on the earth a man should forget
To mention the place of God?”
With his answers I felt assured
Its not my soul he wants to procure
At least it seems not right now.
So, I began to explain myself
With a self secured tone
“ Well Mr. Devil because I don’t know
Why those faith healers
and why all those mystery killers
Can’t get themselves cured.
And other than that
An Institution is better and even the hell
Because heaven is full of bunch of happy chaps,
kept in a cool marble jail.
I really think in the haven,
People don’t cry
even if they try
they don’t even desire.
I find it hard not to want …not to be wanted
So the haven I don’t admire.
So now between the hell and the nutcase
Which one you suggest gonna suit me best?
Specially considering the fact
You are in this act
Long before me.
So you’re the man who can tell what’s the real story.
The Devil seemingly
very happy finding his answers
Offered his advice with generous spree.
“Well my friend hell is not
what it used to be
it isn’t any more a cozy rest
its not any more a place to be free.
Now a days it’s crawling with wrigglers,
the people you don’t want to see.
Specially in a place like hell
Where person like you wants to be.
All the happy chums dumped in the haven
finding it horribly strict.
All the peoples who are awfully board and also those who are thirsty
often finds it difficult in heaven.
So my friend they are selling their souls
and coming down to hell to join the party.
So the place is now really cruel,
a place that even I some times flee.
The Devil rose up from his seat
and shook hands with me
He said, “It was nice chatting with you
and I am sure you have found your street.”
As quickly as he came he fades into darkness
never again to be seen.
So my friends now you know
I am only following the road the Devil has offered to me
I didn’t had a choice couldn’t go to heaven
neither the hell is for me.
That is why I, seek refuge in this sanctuary of loonies.
Author notes
revised version
A contest entry
- New! Truly Original Poetry Wanted :) by Oleander.
540 points, ended December 6, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dancing In The Halls of Insanity.... by RareFlower.
625 points, ended December 11, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the DARKWRITE challenge rides again by Ktulu Blackwolfe.
600 points, ended December 20, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite contest by Sadistic klown girl.
1000 points, ended June 2, 155 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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There were some spelling errors I saw in this piece and that kind of threw it off.... It told a tale that was interesting and the imagery here was well portrayed. This was an entertaining read. Revise it and you could have a gold winner here. Thank you for sharing this piece.
-
-
Thanks...I really should have been more careful...theres lot of mistakes....i edited the poem...here is a revised and edited version
Evening that got me here
I was lonely in the room,
sitting on a chair with a round old table
In the middle.
There was no fireplace so wasn’t any fire.
And besides that in this damn hot country
who needs a fire to burn?
On that moonlit night
I was alone in my corner
without a soul in sight.
I was pondering with grave interest
About the faith healers.
I was thinking whether
The hell or the company of the loonies
going to suit me better?
While I remained lost
In my thoughts,
descended a curious figure.
I was busy with my thoughts
so it wasn’t very clear
whether he came up from the heaven
or down from the hell’s deepest layer.
But he in warm familiar mood
made himself cozy on a chair.
I looked up and noticed the figure
He was a dark slender fellow
with sharp pointed nose and his eyes were kind of yellow.
Though they glittered like hell fire
and shone like a knife but they also felt somewhat hollow.
The man sat opposite to me and fixed his curious gaze…
His face was half silhouetted in the darkness
As if an actor on the stage.
He greeted me with a very tired voice
and announced himself as Devil.
So first time in hours I felt sort of moved
and asked the funny old Devil
“So what makes you visit me Mr. Devil?
I didn’t really offer a deal
and I don’t know anyone
whom I have recently killed.
So what’s the matter that made you to see me?
What’s it all about Mr. Devil?
Poor little Devil coughed a bit
Cleared his throat and started to speak
“ Well my man you were pondering about what suits you best
A trip to t hell or perhaps Institutional rest.
But I think you’ve forgot to mention
A place called haven
where God is known to live.
That struck me as kind of odd
why on the earth a man should forget
To mention the place of God?”
With his answers I felt assured
Its not my soul he wants to procure
At least it seems not right now.
So, I began to explain myself
With a self secured tone
“ Well Mr. Devil because I don’t know
Why those faith healers
and why all those mystery killers
Can’t get themselves cured.
And other than that
An Institution is better and even the hell
Because heaven is full of bunch of happy chaps,
kept in a cool marble jail.
I really think in the haven,
People don’t cry
even if they try
they don’t even desire.
I find it hard not to want …not to be wanted
So the haven I don’t admire.
So now between the hell and the nutcase
Which one you suggest gonna suit me best?
Specially considering the fact
You are in this act
Long before me.
So you’re the man who can tell what’s the real story.
The Devil seemingly
very happy finding his answers
Offered his advice with generous spree.
“Well my friend hell is not
what it used to be
it isn’t any more a cozy rest
its not any more a place to be free.
Now a days it’s crawling with wrigglers,
the people you don’t want to see.
Specially in a place like hell
Where person like you wants to be.
All the happy chums dumped in the haven
finding it horribly strict.
All the peoples who are awfully board and also those who are thirsty
often finds it difficult in heaven.
So my friend they are selling their souls
and coming down to hell to join the party.
So the place is now really cruel,
a place that even I some times flee.
The Devil rose up from his seat
and shook hands with me
He said, “It was nice chatting with you
and I am sure you have found your street.”
As quickly as he came he fades into darkness
never again to be seen.
So my friends now you know
I am only following the road the Devil has offered to me
I didn’t had a choice couldn’t go to heaven
neither the hell is for me.
That is why I, seek refuge in this sanctuary of loonies.
-
-
A nice tale you have told here some good imagery portrayed. I was a little thrown with some spelling errors which need revising but a neat read. Thank you for entering and good luck
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An interesting story.
I like the way it develops and the sensible things it says. I particularly like the idea that people do not cry in heaven.
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very clever and deep
One can tell this was an interesting topic for you. I loved the story feel to it, and the reasons of the main character. A wonderful mix of Gothic, and lunacy. well done and good luck
RF -
Hi, I'm sorry that I missed your entry and didn't add it to the finalist list. This is a truly haunting and beautiful poem. I would have added it, if I hadn't accidentally not.
Peace, and thankyou for entering!
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