Dear Santa,
My wish to you
is something new.
I ask you for a heart,
An unbreakable one.
A gift that will not fall apart,
filled with spirit, and love.
And of it breaking to never fear.
One that will love everyone
and fill them with joy and cheer.
A glowing ruby red heart
jumping like reindeer.
topped with ribbons,
that match the hanging wreath.
Covered with wrapping paper,
Under the christmas tree.
I will wait in anxiety
for that wonderful heart.
A heart to replace my cold broken one,
and with it my life restart.
Ii'll wait 'til up comes the sun.
But, to my bed first i must part
with that my list has been done.
With love,
a healing spirit
Author notes
Gift, Spirit, Cheer, red, reindeer, ribbons, wreath, wrapping paper, Christmas Tree, Cold, list
Option 1.
A contest entry
- December New Members Contest - Holiday Edition by AP Greeters.
6000 points, ended January 6, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Welcome to Allpoetry
Hello Sandy,
I felt like some of the words were forced into place. I still feel like the wish was a beautiful one and that is what is important.. the spirit.
Criss
Site Greeter
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
What an interesting Christmas list. It is filled with thought and warmth, and most importantly, I personally see unselfishness in it. Well done.
Good luck in the contest.
Storm
Site Greeter -
Welcome to All Poetry
Hi there. I believe I like this in content above all other aspects. I think we share the same inner thoughts about the true meaning of the holiday!
A little tweaking with the form could make it shine.
Thank you for entering! Warmly, CookieZeal
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Welcome to Allpoetry
How beautiful. It's such a wish, that we can not be hurt and just hold on to all the happiness. Great use of the word bank and punctuation here that made it very easy to read
Welcome to Allpoetry and thank you for entering our contest
I hope that you enjoy the site, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask
Good luck!
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that is good
i had started to cry cause i thought it was so sad i loved it so much -
Welcome to AllPoetry
There is alot of hope and sadness mixed in with this great poem ~
It was sad to read about a cold broken heart but I hope you get that healed heart
♥
Enjoy AllPoetry
Thank You for Your Entry & Best of Luck
Stay safe
~Manda
Site Greeter -
welcome to allpoetry
I love the hope in this, yes, hearts will be broke, but hopefully there will always be a "santa" to restore them... great write
♥
Shawna
Site Greeter
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this poem made me cry. you hit the nail on the head, my friend. thank you so much - you've inspired me just a bit!
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C=
Aww i'm sorry
but thank for the comment ii appreciate iit =]
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Welcome to All Poetry
A very creative Christmas write. It made me think back to my first Christmas after a break up (wishing for an unbreakable heart). I do have one suggestion, I think that if you use some capitalization as well as punctuation it may help the flow a little bit better. Thanks for sharing, best of luck in the contest.
Sarah
Site Greeter
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welcome to allpoetry
so much creativity found in this little piece here.. may all your wishes come true healing spirit.. Wish you luck in the contest and a wonderful Christmas!!
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welcome to allpoetry
I think many would be able to relate to the feeling expressed here. I like the wording you have used to do so. I also like how you have signed the letter. All the best to you and may your wishes come true.
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welcome to all poetry
Hi Sandy1023
This is lovely, you have some great lines in this poem i hope you get your wish for christmas thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
Barbara
site greeter
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I think in line 11 where you have "rubby" it is meant to be "ruby" I really like the depth of this poem, and it flows really well to be made from a word-bank! I think that a darker text colour would be advisable on the background - but the poem itself is lovely!
♦ M
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Welcome to AllPoetry
This is very different from what I expected to see in this contest. I think it is a very wise thing to wish for and I love how you describe the new heart in Christmas terms, how you objectify peace of mind by describing how it would be wrapped in gift paper etc. The signature is very poignant, too. I like this Good luck in the contest and happy holidays 
~Diana
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welcome to allpoetry
this was a good use of the word bank, I liked this alot, except the background was unbelievably hard to read. good luck to you in the contest!
happy holidays
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Welcome to Allpoetry
This is a lovely poem... Reminds me of a Christmas card my boyfriend and I got from his parents last year
When I was 19, my ex had broken up with me on our 1-year anniversary, which was just before Christmas. Naturally, I was devastated, and I wrote a poem similar to this one, asking for a new heart to replace the broken one, so I completely understand where you're coming from. There's no feeling quite like a broken heart, but knowing that you're not alone can make all the difference Great job with the word-bank too
Just a tip: The border is lovely, but that background has GOT to go! I nearly went blind trying to read this, as green-on-red is unbelievably-hard on the eyes!
Welcome, and a very happy Christmas to you
Laura
Site Greeter
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