A morning artist is approached by lady,
lady with plucked rose
in a rose garden with peahens,
peahen on her arm she stares
stares from the requested morning canvas,
this canvas by evening shows moonlight
moonlit sea, green dress, red cape
caped lady shadowed face a look she flings
flings too a dead peacock over her shoulder
shoulder she swings and leaves with flourish,
flourishes the brush
brush soaked in crazy peacock blues,
blue sea background the garden-park
park lit by the moon
harvest moon painted in cloud reclines
reclining artist in cushion of cloud smiles
smiles like a cheshire-cat
cat stalks amongst bushes the peahens
peahen stands upon rose banded discarded hat
hat in the dew left by the Venus
Venus shows herself naked and full
full under the draped weight of the sky
sky dawns to reveal a morning artist.
A contest entry
- emotion illness rounds - AUDITIONS by stasis.
700 points, ended February 7, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
enjoy
Comments
-
no.
why did you repeat every last word? it doesn't seem necessary to me, at all.
thanks for entering. -
no
The repetition of the last word in every line really bothered me. The piece as a whole, though, seems very fragmented. I had a really difficult time following what exactly was going on.
Please wait for the other judge to comment.
♣ Tegan
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