Not a day that goes by i don't want for You,
The euphoria You bring me to,
Upon my lips to which You kiss,
Unabashedly brought to bliss.
Tasting my fragile throat so frail,
Your lavish tongue leaving heated trail,
A chance encounter? i think not,
For You hold alone the release that's sought.
And once upon this tender time,
i give to You all that is mine.
Between drifting minds and dancing hips,
You touch me with Your fingertips,
Upon my neck Your hands embrace,
Christening me with amazing grace,
Then gripping tight You take from me,
All i am and could ever be.
i pant and gasp and close my eyes,
As i begin to realize,
You hold the key to every breath,
Give me life or give me death.
Impaling Yourself so deep inside,
This warm wet slave’s great divide,
Pounding Your body against my flesh,
i long for air so cool and fresh,
Denied my need to survive,
i trust that i'll remain alive.
Your essence spills into my soul,
While i myself, lose control.
Peaking with You violently,
Your grip released so suddenly.
Sucking in the cool moist air,
We walk the line that so few dare.
And gazing deep into my eyes,
A special bond is realized.
A kiss of life, a kiss of death,
i’ll give to You my one last breath.
Author notes
From the slave/sub's point of view, where "i" is never capitalized, and all reference to Master/Dom is identified with a capital letter. This is not a typographical error, it is intentional as this is 'proper' for the environment in which it was written.
A contest entry
- Seduce me by im dead - go away.
460 points, ended December 29, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Not bad
Had nice wording, and for the most part, a good rhyme scheme and flow. There were a few small interruptions in the rhythm here and there, but nothing too serious.
It was a good piece, I could get a feel for it.
Nothing especially stood out to me, though, bad or good. -
this is so amazing! you are a very talented person! :)) keep it up...!
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Thank you!
Appreciate the feedback.
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i liked it a lot, was a very nice way of phrasing what was going on. The rhyming was nice, but i almost wonder how it would sound if it weren't in AABBCC...It fits and it works, but i can't help wondering if it where in a slightly different scheme, it would sound even better. Just a thought.
Really did like it though, very nice. :-)
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Thank you!
Appreciate you taking the time to comment...my poems tend to come out exactly as you see them with very little modification...not always, but most times...so I tend not to mess with them. I probably should see if I can manipulate them into other schemes, though. Thanks for the thought.
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This is really good.Liked the rhyme was not forced.Appropiatly titled and like the backround.
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Many thanks!
Glad you enjoyed...I like celestial backgrounds and this one seemed appropriate. Thanks for the comments.
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omg i love it it so good u did a amazing job im sill impressed
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Glad you liked it!
And I appreciate you taking the time to offer feedback. Many thanks!
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