Why?

I gave you everything I had, or at least I thought I had
I gave you all the love I had right from the very start.
I used to believe we were happy together,
That we would always be together, forever even in death.

I never dreamed you wouldn't wait for me, I thought our love was strong
I never thought you would tell me "Good bye" without a tear in your eyes.
I never thought you would be willing to cause me such pain
I never dreamed you would throw our love away.

You used to tell me you loved me... were IN love with me
You used to tell me "I will whisper your name with my very last breath"
You used to hold me all night long, never wanting to sleep incase we let go
You used to kiss me good night, and hold me close.

You didn't tell me you were getting bored, fed up of waiting
You didn't tell me weekends were not enough anymore
You must have known how my heart used to break as sunday came
You must have known I lived to be with you.

We were so much IN love Phil, I know we were
We even exchanged wedding rings and wrote our wedding vows
We even had a short 'Honeymoon' and didnt want it to end
We held hads over breakfast, made love in the tub

Do you remember, do you even care
Do you still drift back to those happy days we shared?
Do you look around, and see me everywhere
Do you know I spend my life, dreaming I am there.

We could have had it all Phil, I know we could
But you broke my heart, told me we were through
I even told my Son and Husband about us, hoping to be with you
But you didnt want me, said it was all to late.

You walked out, didnt even say goodbye
It was then that I looked.. oh my god I wish I hadn't
Looking in your pocket, I found the phone I knew deep down you had
I fumbled to turn it on, my head spinning

Why did you do it, did you really not love me
Why need other women, when I wanted only you
I found the texts, even using our special code
Phil I am sorry for what I did then, and I will always hate myself

I just saw red, my heart broke all over again
I wanted to hurt you back, but didnt know how
So I went upstairs, to 'our' beddroom
saw all your clothes.. I didnt want you to have anything to wear
when you went to meet her

I am so sorry Phil, but you will never now how much
I wish I could turn back time, so I was still there
Phil I did it cause I love you, I know you don't believe a word I say
But Phil, put yourself in my place, ask what you would do

I will love you forever, I really meant what I said
And I promise your name will be, the very last words I whisper
As I close my eyes and drift away in to the peaceful dream that will never end
I will think of you, as I slowly close my eyes and die.


For my Darling Phil, who just didnt think I was good enough to wait for. After 7 wonderful years he said goodbye to me on 30th November 2008.
I love you Phil, forever and even into death xxx 8.3.1 xxx forever