vast space was measured
by faulty instrument,
a scarred lens,
an off-centered scope
til seeking failed to find the stars
and darkness fell upon the barren
but one came
stepping subtly,
floating briefly across Undiscovered
as if propelled by certain, absent winds
dispersing dust
in gusts of smooth unveiling
til visage cleared above the open surface
exhausted moon beams resumed reflection
upon a world no longer void
I never knew such sweet, soft intrusion
until Love came
and revealed a deeper knowing
so I’ll compel him
ever toward this glowing orb
to requite that perfect touch—
such important exploration
In a list
A contest entry
- Footprints by Peteskid.
1500 points, ended December 5, 2008, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I think this is one of the most beautiful poems I've ever read from your poetry.
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Wow, Michael, thanks! That is high praise from one who is always so generously complimentary. I'm glad to know you took something from it.
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Love does leave memories behind like footprints. Congratulations on the silver trophy. Love has its own gravity.
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Well done Ten excellent piece of writing
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Ah, I read this before and thought I had left a comment here
PK made a very good choice giving your poem a trophy. Your verses go from dark to light, a slow discovering filling all the empty spaces.
I enjoyed the tenderness I felt here through the lines
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Man. This is awesome. I mean it. I love
every single word of it. Damn. Love, Lane
PS: wow
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" such sweet, soft, intrusion..." oh, this is such a gentle grab-me read! Your use of footprints is jsut right to mae us know.....well-done!
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i find myself strangely attracted to this, and i believe the pull of your poetry will indeed compel him, like a moth to flame. -silverfish
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Outstanding title. Gravity--a force that draws together, and also concept of such importance it requires serious contemplation.
Outstanding metaphor. We can look at the same picture through a different lens and see a competely different landscape. Lovely "gusts of smooth unveiling" and "exhausted moon beams."
Excellent concluding reconnection to initial metaphor with "such important exploration."
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The imagery is wonderful, the idea of seeking, finding, exploring...and the sense of happiness in the pursuit and the revelations that follow, a remarkable sense of a quiet confidence waiting and watching all things...Excellent. Thank you for this fine entry into the contest and best of luck in the judging...PK
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Oh hun this is just superb! You took this prompt way way out of the box and it works brilliantly! You are such an amaxing poet with a bountiful gift.
All the best with this
Gaylene
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