When you think about a Scrooge,
Who first comes to mind?
A guy without Christmas cheer,
A man who's not so kind?
What if all you believed,
(Everything you were told)
Was wrong and Ol' Ebenezer
Wasn't all that cold?
Say he was a charitable fellow,
Doled out money (rather than fright)-
Would he have ever been visited by
Three spirits on Christmas eve night?
What if he treated Bob Cratchit
With a little more respect,
And instead of being underpaid
He received a sizable check?
Maybe he welcomed the holiday
With presents piled deep,
Placing them under the tree
When the children fell asleep.
I may never know the answer,
Could always rack my brain-
Who was Ebenezer Scrooge?
The question will surely remain.
Author notes
Just had fun with it. If you have any ideas on how to improve the flow of the poem, I am all ears.
A contest entry
- Christmas!!! by Slick99.
800 points, ended December 15, 2008, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Holiday Cheer! by smilingshadow.
550 points, ended December 13, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT by WesBreezyxxx.
400 points, ended December 31, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best XmAs Prewrites by amaranthine lover.
1275 points, ended December 29, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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this is a fun piece, I like it
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nice
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cool
good write and good luck
that's the never ending question"What if?....."
this made me smile.
and in true "Bob Crachet" style have a warm and merry christmas
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I thought this def deserved an applause for creativity!
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Nice! A very different take than the usual holiday poems but none the less, very well done!...I love the flow of your imagination in your words, and how you rhymed...thanks for entering
wishing you the very best for the holiday season!
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this is an awesome poem!!! thnx for entering and good luck!!! -Slick
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oops ment to applaud
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i like your twist on this, well done and good luck in the contest
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It makes me smile reading this because i am one of those people who like to think of things in a different way. just because it is fun to make up a story about a person that is completely different than what they are known for. I think this is a good write and a good job at thinking out of the box. keep on penning...
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A rather interesting poem. I think it flows fine as is. I know it doesn't have a perfect rhyme scheme, but it still works. Nicely done.
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Doled out money (rather than fright)-
I think you could change "rather than" to "not". I also think that two lines down, you could change it from "three spirits" to "spirits on".
I also think the last line sounds lackluster and could be changed, although I have no suggestion on how to change it here.
Hope that helps!
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