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Ripe Sin

We sought it out, that ripe sin dripping down our chins,
Then we cowered under the burden of it's darkness.
But so sweet and pleasurable were it's offerings,
That we sank deeply into it's vastness.
Consumed with the evils in our souls,
We hide from our God's forgiving eyes.
We clothed our nakedness with shame,
And knew not the joy of our Father.
His lightness and love were lost upon us now,
As our ears are filled with our own inner screamings.
So tormented by the loss of our Father's favor,
That we still secretly longed for his sweet embrace.
Broken and thirsting for that sacred vision,
Of our Father's loving arms around us.
Safe in this blissful peace, we would finally slumber,

Clothed only in our God's unending love.

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Onionducks
    December 15, 2008

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    The image is so wonderful, and you take it to a very spiritual place with this. It's hard to remember that we are all children in His eyes.

  • kittyom
    December 11, 2008
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    PERFECTION!!!!

    This is absolute perfection!!!! The modern-day description of Adam and Eve depicted with graphic emotion and despair...this is an absolutely INCREDIBLE write, my friend...true to the story and true to the times...today as well as then, I'm sure...This is a very, very, POWERFUL piece!!!

    Kittyom


  • kareneisenlord gold member
    December 10, 2008

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    I really sensed the loss of the innocense and security of being wrapped in the strong and loving arms of the father here. What a loss that is. To have known it and lost it is even harder. Karen


  • PrincessOfFire
    December 7, 2008

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    Adam and Eve! So well portrayed! Your use of metaphors are fantastic. So well done this peice of art. Rose


  • debilynn gold member
    December 6, 2008

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    a great write with a powerful message. people get caught up in sin and as you so eloquently put it:
    ''We sought it out, that ripe sin dripping down our chins,
    Then we cowered under the burden of it's darkness.'
    and:
    'So tormented by the loss of our Father's favor,
    That we still secretly longed for his sweet embrace.
    Broken and thirsting for that sacred vision,
    Of our Father's loving arms around us.
    Safe in this blissful peace, we would finally slumber,

    Clothed only in our God's unending love.'

    ...they deny God s love and suffer their whole life without His joy. thank you for sharing this. you have amazing talent. keep writing! God bless you always


  • Harlequin Dance
    December 6, 2008

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    Very dark and well-written. The title itself caught my attention, and then the rest of the poem kept it. The picture there only enhances the meaning of the poem, too. I enjoyed reading it.


  • twaintwine
    December 6, 2008
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    Very gripping account of that First Fall and so symbolic of the countless since.


  • BlancetNoir gold member
    December 5, 2008

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    My humble opinions follow...
    Love, love, love the first line, sin dripping down our chins, makes me think of juicy forbidden fruit, awesome.
    in the second line you use the word cowarded which sounds to me like either an interesting play on words or a mis-spell of 'cowered' a word meaning to shrink away.
    Further down, line 11, the word lose, should this be loss?
    this is really overall a beautiful poem, a marvelous idea.
    The metaphor in the first line is the most powerful, visual and sensory on many levels, to me, it really is the strongest line of the poem.

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