My mind is a burnt ginger cookie ready to snap;
the neighbor stands buck-naked in my front yard.
I see it must be very cold as Mr. Natural dances from foot to foot
in attempts warm himself. The kettle calls me from the window
with a whistle. I pour the water in my cup, fresh lemon fills the
air. I add a dollop of honey and sip the sweet elixir.
My imagination hurts like day old fish under a pile of dirty socks,
while Bourdain eats bangers and mash on telly in London's east end.
My Natural, who is not actually totally naked, trys to keep
his own banger from bouncing.
I despise cell phones, sooner or later they will be surgically
implanted at birth and I'm always tempted to bitch-slap the people
with overly loud and completely obnoxious ring tones;
thereby ridding them of poor manners and proper comportment.
"You wanna talk? Talk to this hand you frikin' idiots!"
The yappy dog of my conscience whispers,
"Go for it" ,
as again I peer from the window.
Mr. Natural pulls a cell from his sock and begins to levitate in some sort of trance towards my porch.
So Luna lunges toward the door, yanks it open and begins screaming at him.
In a haze I see Mr. Natural's doctor on news-at-noon
explaining the operation that removed his phone from
a place where the sun doesn't shine.
The fragile strength of my total conviction has always been the greatest failure in the field of my accomplishments.
oy vey!
My phone chooses to ring, but then cowers on the table,
horrified at a potentially fatal mistake.
Jack the Terrier dances and nips at an ancient chinese cat, who
with one eye open waits for his moment.
Author notes
not sure how to post this..so I'll post the guidelines and results of the excersise here and above the finished product.
1. Begin the poem with a metaphor.
2. Say something specific but utterly preposterous.
3. Use at least one image for each of the five senses.
4. Use one example of synaesthesia (mixing the senses)
5. Use the proper name of a person and the proper name of a place.
6. Contradict something you said earlier in the poem.
7. Change direction or digress from the last thing you said.
8. Use a word (slang?) you’ve never seen in a poem.
9. Use an example of false cause/effect logic.
10. Use a piece of “talk” you’ve actually heard (preferably in dialect and/or which you
don’t understand).
11. Create a metaphor using the following construction; “The (adjective) (concrete
noun) of (abstract noun)…”
12. Use an image in such a way as to reverse its usual associative qualities.
13. Make the persona or character in the poem do something he/she could not do in
real life.
14. Refer to yourself by nickname and in the third person.
15. Write in the future tense so that part of the poem seems to be a prediction.
16. Modify a noun with an unlikely adjective.
17. Make a declarative assertion that sounds convincing but that finally makes no
sense.
18. Use a phrase from a language other than English.
19. Make a non-human object say or do something human (personification).
20. Close the poem with a vivid image that makes no statement, but that “echoes’ an image from earlier in the poem.
...
1 my mind is a burnt ginger cookie ready to snap
2 the neighbor stands buck-naked in my front yard
3 i see it must be very cold as dances from foot to foot
attempting warm himself; the kettle calls me from the window
with a whistle, i pour water in my cup and fresh lemon fills the
air, i add a dollop of honey and sip the sweet elixer.
4 my imagination hurts like day old fish under a pile of dirty socks
5 bourdain is eating bangers and mash on the telly in the east end of london
6 while the neighbor, who is not actually totally naked trys to keep
his banger from bouncing
7 i despise cell phones, sooner or later they will be surgically
implanted at birth
8 i'm always tempted to bitch-slap the people with overly loud and
completely obnoxious ring tones
9 therefore ridding them of poor manners and proper comportment
10 you wanna talk? talk to this hand you frikin' idiots!
11 the yappy dog of my conscience
12 whispers to me to go for it as again i look from the window; just in time to
see the neighbor pull a cell from his sock
13 and begin to levitate in some sort of trance towards my porch
14 so looney luna lunges toward the door, yanks it open and begins screaming
at mr natural
15 all the while seeing his doctor on news-at-noon explaining the operation
that removed mr natural's phone from a place the sun don't shine.
16 the fragile strength of my total conviction
17 has always been my greatest failure in the field of my accomplishments
18 oy vey!
19 my own phone rings and cowers on the table, as my butt clinches in terror
20 jack the terrier dances and nips at the ancient chinese cat, who with one eye
In a list
A contest entry
- Is your Writing in a Wrut? by just mercedes.
1700 points, ended December 17, 2008, 22 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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!!!
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You are so "Groovy".
Joe
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You had me at hello. 
The title. Mr. Natural. 
Ahhh...the good ol' days. I can barely 'member 'em. 
The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers ~ Freddy, Franklin& Phineas. Anyyyway...great penning, my Friend...of course. One never expects less when coming to your pages. Always different, yet always worthwhile. Good luck in the contest, Sweetie. 
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thanks Wanda...hope you are feeling better
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I thought about taking this on
but I could never do it this well.
Mr. Natural
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Mr. Natural lol
it wasn't easy, lol..but if i could do it, you could do it
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your life is so interesting ... I'm envious (:
very creative and it all ties together. wow.
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thanks
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lol..not quite like that, though
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lol
I can't even think straight at the moment
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lol..i almost didn't post this, but what the heck, huh?
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Oh yeah, angsty, existential, surreal, all those things - wonderful! What a trip; Mr Natural would be a challenge, even surgically improved. I most loved 'my imagination hurts like day old fish under a pile of dirty socks'
Thanks for this fine entry. -
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thanks..a lot of fun, this one
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