You caught my eye
and I glimpsed our future
of limiting co-dependency
The bridling contempt
born of familiarity
and forgotten Edens
The repetitive arguing
jaded lamentations
and neutered ambitions
The anguish
of knowing that all our goals
were being compromised
by habits once adored
but now abhorred
So I blinked and looked away.
~~~
A contest entry
- NOT THE TRADITIONAL I MISS YOU ... CHECK IT OUT!!! by righteousme.
1400 points, ended December 18, 2008, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Wow - This is really good. It flow well, avoided platitudes, and skillfully wove polysyllabic words without sounding a bit forced. And of course, the last lie was the kicker.
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Ooo, that last line is amazing. The rush of words almost overpowers you, then there's that break and that ending line. An amazing experience to read.
Well penned,
~lost
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this was good. i like the "i-glanced-saw-looked-away-and-left" thing ...
thank you SO much for your time and talent in this contest ...
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Hard truth well expressed. Sometimes.....dammit, it just won't work, and the trick is to recognize it before anyone gets hurt. Well done!
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