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Revelation of a Muse

Like the blossom
of the cherry lotus tree
Beauty in strength is
Faint to see

Great care you take as you
bloom,
as the center case
for the resting of my tomb.

An enigma that shrouds
all terror

In cocoon of light:
Shine! Shine
Like like distant star

A ray of dimming light
In the void,
yet never failing to flicker
and yet, continue

to stand as a shield
Against the creeping shadow
                                  of the Void.

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Annexed Josephine
    May 6
    Edit | Reply
    i love, love, love this one.

    i love the end, i love the flow. this is very well done.

    it's deeper but more vague, you know what i mean?

    it's there but it's not like a cat constantly brushing the ankel? get me? it's not annoying. it's subtel yet far from background music.


  • dreams of a gypsy
    April 18
    Edit | Reply
    quietly peacful. i loved it i hope you write more hun. i will read them.

    your friend the gypsy


  • Salt Therapy
    February 9
    Edit | Reply
    that's beautiful! I think she'll love it


  • Nephlim
    December 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I loved the two ending lines, "creeping shadow" just sounds to eerily beautiful that it really caught my eye . There was such a strength in the words you used, I could really see everything you were describing. "Cherry lotus" is a wonderful combination of words, too.
    GREAT job
    diggin it majorly